I Had Gay Sex At Bible Camp 3 Times
by doorist
Summary: request meme fic prompt: codiasi request inspired by the postcard saying "I had gay sex at bible camp, 3 times" in the 'post secrets' book. um, SLASH? yeah. 3 times? um yeah, maybe, i lost count... NC17, preWWE
1. Chapter 1

**New ****A/N: Ok, now I'm getting complaints about the title, which is the very reason I changed it in the first place. Can't win. What do I do? either way I cop shit. And the thing is, most of the people complaining aren't even reading the actual story. It's a NICE story. :(**

**A/N: This story was originally written as a REQUEST in a meme over at Live Journal. I often partake in the prompts and challenges set in the various communities. And the very particular inspiration was a real life postcard in the book 'POST SECRETS', where people can send in anonymous postcards saying whatever their deepest darkest secrets are and they get published, there's a website too. Anyway, the postcard in question specifically said "I had gay sex at bible camp... 3 times!" so this became the request and title of the fic, to be specifically applied to the Codiasi pairing, due to Ted DiBiase's real life religious leanings. ****However when I published it here, due to the strict ratings code, I was informed it was an inappropriate title and should be toned down. So I did. I called it 'Awakening' instead. Yet that caused all sorts of problems because it seems people are unable to read summaries, and I got alot of messages from people saying they were offended etc. Um, you're reading slash... which it clearly states... and the bible camp part was clearly mentioned in the summary... yet still I got complaints. It's just a coming of age story, it's not anything offensive to anyone, it just outlines the particular dilemmas that could be experienced by teenagers trying to come to terms with their sexuality in an environment/upbringing that doesn't necessarily accommodate them. A very real thing that goes on all the time. So anyway, I changed the summary to be more explicit so people would realise. But no, people seem to like skipping summaries... so I figured to hell with it I'll just put it back to its real title 'I Had Gay Sex At Bible Camp... 3 Times'. If people can't figure out from that what this is about then that is not my problem. I'm sick of apologising. It's a nice story, it's about love. If you're willingly reading slash then get over it. So anyway in the midst of updating the title my pc got a virus and I somehow lost the whole post (along with various other things like my newest fic too) so I've had to re-upload it, which I figured I'd do a chapter at a time like I originally did. Again I don't see why people feel the need to inform me of this either, because um, yes, I know it had a different name, I know I already published it. I also know WHY I changed the name and I also know all about the endless shit I copped cos of this fic. If you don't like it you don't have to read it. And guess what, since I changed the name back to its more explicit title, it's had over double the hits it _ever had_ before in just the few days it's been changed. **

**.................. **

**"I HAD GAY SEX AT BIBLE CAMP.......THREE TIMES"  
Codiasi fic  
rated NC17  
I own nothing  
This work intends no offence to anyone and the views therein are those expressed by fictional characters, not the characters' real life namesakes.**  
"You're going _where_?"

"Cody, I.."

"No Ted, I _always_ come to your house for at least _some_ of summer, _every_ fucking year dude, since like, _forever_, it's the only time I get to be free, and now you're taking that away from me? You suck,"

"I_ know_, but.."

"But this year you fucking just fob me off like I don't matter, ditch me! For fucking _bible_ camp??! _Bible camp_? I mean Ted, _really_, come on! How _old_ are you?!"

"Cody if you just.."

"_No Ted_, I'm not fucking happy, I gotta cancel my plane now and everything, I can't _believe_ you're just gonna..."

"CODY!! _LISTEN_!"

"_No_ Ted, _you_ listen! This whole thing with you and God has gone _too far_, you're letting it take over your life! And dude, fuck sake man, these are meant to be the best years of your life right here right now! And how are you gonna manage that with God breathing down your fricking neck all the god damned time? I mean, hell, it's bad enough with my dad, but God _aswell_, fuck that shit dude!"

"Cody! Shut the fuck up! Just listen! You don't need to go cancelling flights or any shit like that, and I'm gonna ignore _everything_ you just said you mouthy little fuck, 'cos if you'd just shut up for _one second_ you'd know that I was gonna ask you to come _with_ me,"

"Bwahahahahaha! Hang on... dude, what the fuck? You _serious_?"

"Yes I'm _serious_! I feel bad enough as it is with all your bitching and moaning, I wanna make it up to you, c'mon, whaddaya say?"

"You wanna _make it up to me_ at bible camp?! _Pffft_, dude, you know that part where I said _the best years of your life_, fucking _bible camp_ is _not _how I expected us to be spending them together,"

"Yeah, but you said the operative words right there, _spending them together_, that's the whole point right? It'll be fun!"

"Hmph!"

"It will! Okay then, how _exactly_ did you think we were gonna spend summer then?"

"You mean how_ I_ _still am_ gonna spend it! Dude, I'm talking the beach, the beach house, parties at the beach house, parties on the beach, booze, more parties, learning to drive, checking out RAW with dad and hanging with Randy, more parties, getting laid, did I mention the beach? You know! _Fun stuff_!"

"Cody, you're only fifteen!"

"_So_? You were doing all that shit when you were my age."

"Yeah, but then I saw the.."

"Yeah yeah, _the error of your ways_, don't I fucking know it,"

"C'mon man, you believe in God dontcha?"

"Dude, I believe in fucking living in the here and now, and the only reason you stopped doing that and suddenly found so much time for God, is 'cos that hot piece of ass you were chasing got herself a new boyfriend! What was her name again?!"

"Kristen,"

"Yeah, so you got yourself a new man too, fucking God! _Lame_ dude, lame."

"Cody don't..."

"Ted, I don't have a problem with people believing. They can believe what they want, as long as they let me do what _I wanna do_, believe what _I wanna believe_. And bible camp sure as hell is _not_ the place for that,"

"Cody, _please_? I don't wanna go the _whole_ summer without seeing you at all. Anyway, the place might surprise you, it might be full of reprobates and perverts, that'll be right up your alley!"

"Oh ha ha. Yeah whatever. _Okayyyy_, I'll come. As long as we do something _I wanna do_ when we get out..."

"When we _get out_?! You make it sound like prison!"

"More like hell..."

***

Cody sighed, sinking back into his seat on the packed coach as he finished re-reading all the paperwork. He had to get it ready to hand in at registration as soon as they arrived at Camp Emmaus.  
He rolled his eyes as he read the line about having a 'worship experience'. Man, he really was starting to regret all this bullshit, and was slightly worried about what he'd got himself into.  
Little did he know when Ted convinced him, no, _begged him_, to go with him to bible camp, that he'd have to fill in half a forest of forms and sign his life away about a million times.

_'Think of the canoeing, waterskiing, and..er... campfires... canoeing, waterskiing...canoeing, waterskiing...'_ he reminded himself for the millionth time, that was the only reason he'd gone along with it anyway, well, that and to spend some time with Ted.

He chanted it like a mantra the whole rest of the ride, bored out of his skull while Ted snored beside him and everyone else read their bibles. Yeah, you heard right, read their _bibles_... which_ fuck_, he forgot to go and buy one, the one essential part of this whole ordeal and the one thing it completely slipped his mind to get.  
Obviously his subconscious was trying to tell him something...

He sighed warily again, grumbling to himself about bible camp being so god damned far away, as he stowed the million forms in the pocket of the seat in front of him, cursing the person who decided to ban them bringing any kind of electronic entertainment.  
No Gameboy, no Zelda, no Mario, nothing.  
He couldn't even listen to music, cd players were banned too, everything electronic meant everything fun. What kind of sadists _were_ these people? He wasn't even allowed to bring his phone! His folks weren't too happy about that, they would've preferred him to check in with them at least once or twice seeing as they were going to be so far away, but rules were rules.  
But still, right now it meant he couldn't even play any of the shitty low quality games his phone had and that meant he was going out of his mind. He'd been right in the middle of an awesome Zelda Gameboy mission on the flight over from Ted's and couldn't believe he had to leave it behind.

He did consider bringing them with him, to make the journey at least halfway bearable, but he knew they'd be confiscated when they got searched on arrival. He couldn't bear the thought of losing his beloved games, it'd take him aaaages to get back to the level he was at, if he had to start again that was, especially on Zelda. And even if he got it back at the end, he just didn't trust anyone else not to mess with his console. He'd rather be miserable and bored than risk losing that Gameboy.

Thank god for his comics, well maybe not _god_, but _someone_ at least had allowed them to bring something to read. He settled down for the last leg of the journey wondering how on earth he was going to make it through all these arduous tasks, bible reading was bad enough, naturally, but why did he have to watch a _musical production_ put on by the fucking _staff?! WTF??! _And go to a banquet?  
A _banquet_?!  
Round the campfire apparently, ah, just like all the other meals...  
It was meant to be a canoeing and waterskiing camp wasn't it? Yet he had to bring 'semi-dressy' clothes for this fucking banquet. Man, _dressy clothes_?! Cody didn't have a problem with looking good, he just had a little trouble seeing _the fucking point_ when they were only going to be doing the exact same thing they'd be doing every other night- praying and eating round the damn campfire, just at a different location.  
Ted said it was to put on 'a good impression for the opposite sex', and make 'possible accquaintances for the future'.  
Pfffffft.  
Man... it was gonna be a long week...

Cody stepped off the coach, glad to finally be stretching his legs. He put his backpack on the ground, folding his arms across his chest and stared up at the entrance to Camp Emmaus as he stood waiting for the rest of his stuff to get unloaded from underneath the bus.  
Ted ambled up beside him, still sleepy and smiling sheepishly, feeling guilty for leaving Cody to amuse himself and get steadily grumpier the further they travelled without anything to keep him occupied. Ted had many an experience of a bored Cody and knew the look on his face all too well.

"How long was I out?" he chuckled as Cody regarded him sternly,

"Long enough for you to have to make it up to me," he answered cooly, raising his eyebrows as a group of girls ran by them squealing as they recognised friends from previous years, his face not amused.

"People come here more than once? And are happy about it? What the fuck." he shook his head, mock incredulous as Ted heaved their packs over.

"Yeah man, and then they go on to be counsellors when they're too old to camp, c'mon, let's go!"

"You sound way too eager about all that Ted, you're not thinking of doing it are you?"

"I dunno, maybe, would be good experience for me if I ever choose to follow my old man into the ministry,"

Cody hmph'd loudly, Ted knew his opinion on that matter, and it wasn't favourable to say the least.

"If you do that I'll never speak to you again, I told you that," he was half heartedly threatening, but meant it at the same time as he glared at him, hoisting his pack up onto his shoulders.

Ted stopped in his tracks, looking back at him forlornly, "Codes, don't be like that..."

"I know, I know, you'll still be the same Ted... blah blah blah," but deep down Cody knew he wouldn't be, because he knew he could never accept Cody for who he really was if he ever took on his intended vocation, because he wouldn't be allowed to accept him. And that's why Cody could never tell him the truth, he'd rather live a lie than live rejected.

Especially rejected by Ted.

They regarded each other for a moment, the things left unsaid hanging between them, as Ted looked hurt and Cody looked rejected without even having to admit anything.

"C'mon then, let's get this over with," he sighed.

"I will be the same Ted..." he offered quietly, but Cody had already marched ahead of him and joined the long queue forming at the registration tables.

He looked around at the other kids surrounding him, talking and laughing excitedly, they all looked so wholesome, and so happy to be here, he just didn't get it, how they could live their lives by a book, a book that that condemned him and everyone else like him. He took it as a personal insult and he couldn't help it, in fact, he had a sudden urge to get some tattoos and piercings and maybe a mohawk too while he was at it.

They stood quietly in line, taking in the atmosphere and listening in on the chatter around them, Teddy warming up to it all and Cody sliding deeper into a dark mood. As he stood with his brow furrowed and his arms folded he looked up the line to see what was taking so long, and saw a bunch of trendy looking older guys and girls sitting behind a table going over everyone's papers. He was trying to make out what their matching t-shirts had on them as he squinted at the one nearest to him, and he couldn't supress a derisive chuckle when he realised what it said.

"Teddy, look," he nudged him in the side, "What the fuck are those? That's what you're gonna have to wear if you come back, you do realise that right? That should be good enough fucking reason not to do it!" he hissed out the side of his mouth as his giggles consumed him.

Ted craned his neck as he tried to eye up the shirts,"You're gonna have to watch that filthy mouth of yours Codes, it could get you in trouble in a place like this," he whispered back,

"I know, I know, Christian language only, I did read the paperwork Ted, all 5 million pages of it, anyway, you're just as bad!"

"I know, but only around you, your bad habits rub off on me... Oh, man I see what you mean," his eyes widened as he caught sight now of the shirts Cody had been alluding to, trying to read as they moved up in the queue, "Jesus is my homeboy! Oh fucking hell..."

"Language!"

They both snorted with laughter, shoulders knocking together as the tension from earlier evaporated completely and everything between them went back to normal. Cody still felt out of place, as if he was about to be discovered at any moment, but he was glad to be here regardless, well, not here exactly, but with Ted, and if that happened to be here, then so be it.

They settled into a companionable silence as they waited, not so patiently in Cody's case as he constantly looked up ahead to see how much longer. One particularly cute counsellor guy caught his eye and winked, taking Cody by surprise and he looked around to see if he meant it for someone else, but when he looked back the guy was smiling right back at him. Cody didn't know where to put his face, had he been staring at him by accident?

He turned back around to Ted, hiding his embarrassment and confusion behind a random comment about the weather. Ted looked at him funny, and at his murmered agreement Cody snuck a look back towards the front as they crept forward, averting his eyes as the guy looked up to call for the next person in line. Cody swore under his breath as he realised he might have to report to this strange man smiling down the queue at him.

He was undeniably cute, so Cody was sure he was imagining things, he couldn't be looking at him, surely, but he started to feel self conscious the closer they moved ahead. He watched as the people up front went to register with the guy on the end, then to the girl on the far left, and there were still two people in front of him.  
He breathed a sigh of relief as the guy in question dismissed his recruit and looked back up the line, but instead of calling next, he seemed to suddenly have to write down a whole load of stuff and shuffle his papers, then he dropped his pen on the ground and rummaged around down there for a while.

Cody watched nervously as the two girls in front of him went to the next two guys along, good, good, his turn, maybe that girl on the end, she seems to be finishing up, or maybe not...

"Ted, you wanna go..."

"Next!"

"Shit..."

"Huh?"

"...never mind..." Cody swore again and made his way over to stand nervously in front of the desk, dumping his pack at his feet and fiddling with the pile of papers he clutched tightly in his hand.  
_'Shit, this guy is gorgeous,'_ He felt sure a prominent blush crept up his cheeks at the thought, and he bit his lip shyly as he realised he'd been checking him out so blatantly.

"Hey there," Big green eyes were staring up at him and Cody felt his resolve weaken as he fought not to stare completely unashamedly.

"Hey,"

"I'm Andrew, welcome to Camp Emmau,"

"Er, thanks..." he handed over his papers, shifting slightly from one foot to the other, fiddling with the shoulder strap of his backpack and looking around casually, trying to appear as nonchalant as possible as the still smiling Andrew went over all his details.

"So... Cody?"

"Yeah..." he confirmed his name, age, address, all the while avoiding his eyes. Ted walked up to the desk alongside him, a welcome distraction, and he smirked, grateful for something to focus on, hoisting his backpack further up on his shoulder.

Ted winked, flashing him a toothy grin, completely unable to contain his excitement as he in turn confirmed his own details and was given the time of his swim test. Cody shook his head at him, laughing at his enthusiasm as he turned back to the desk, the mention of swimming jolting him back to reality as he realised he'd almost entirely forgotten to pay attention.

Ted often had that effect on him.  
Andrew smiled at him, watching the exchange with interest as he ticked boxes down his list.

"So Cody,"

"Yeah?"

"You and, uh..."

"Ted,"

"Ted. You two come here together?"

Cody's blush returned with a vengeance as he frantically wondered exactly what Andrew was getting at, "Uh, well, I..."

"It's just I noticed you've both travelled a long way to be here today,"

"Yes," Cody nodded emphatically,

"And have you ever joined us at Camp Emmau before?"

"No,"

"So do you know anybody else here?"

"Er no..."

"Okay, you'll be getting paired up with different people randomly all week, so what I'll do, is I'll put you in the same team so you at least know each other, that work for you guys?"

"Oh, right, okay then," Cody let out the breath he'd been holding, an enormous sigh of relief escaping as Andrew leant over to look at the next counsellor's list.

"Okay, so, Ted... where is he... DiBiase?" Cody nodded, "...is in group C, so that means you'll be camping at zone C too, and your swim test is at three. Got it?"

"Yep,"

"Good, okay, so..." he shuffled through a box of laminated cards as he talked, "That's where you're headed to now, it's a secluded little site atthe end of that path tonight," he nodded over in the direction, "So you need to unpack your tent. Get yourself set up and get changed, and be ready to report to the lake at 14:50, by the pier, okay?"

"Okay, got it,"

"Good. Then after that it's general orientation, and then we get let loose on the challenge course. How's all that sound?"

"Sounds good!"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Good man! See you there then," Andrew smiled, producing a card with all Cody's details printed on it, like a drivers license, with a pin attached to the back like a badge. "Just in case," he added, seeing Cody looking at it inquisitively, "Keep it pinned inside your pocket at all times," he said seriously.

"What, so you'll be able to identify us when we drown in the rapids?!" Cody's eyebrows furrowed in consternation as he promptly pocketed it, looking back up into Andrew's now concerned eyes, "Will you be the one who rescues me?" he couldn't resist a smirk as he lowered his eyes again, before looking back up hesitantly as he realised how that might've sounded.

Andrew visibly relaxed, "Yeah, I think we could come to some kind of arrangement,"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," he laughed, "I won't let anything happen to you, well, not anything bad anyway,"

"Promise?" Cody couldn't help his face light up, " 'Cos you do realise I'm going to hold you to that don't you?" his smirk was getting cheekier by the minute but he couldn't help himself.

"Yeah, I promise." Andrew smirked back, and Cody hoisted his pack up off the ground and onto his back, "Any final questions?"

"Yeah," Cody's eyes flicked down to Andrew's chest, focussing on the Buddy Christ styled image of Jesus and tried not to laugh as he found himself asking when they'd get to wear shirts as super cool as those?!

But it was Andrew's response that made his heart pound in his chest, "Oh don't you worry, if you misbehave, I'll make you wear mine," he winked, and Cody laughed,

"Careful, I might just hold you to that too!" he walked away to join Ted who was waiting for him and they headed out to find their campsite.

"See, looks like you've made a friend already, that wasn't so hard now was it?"

"Are you insinuating that's something I'd have trouble doing?! I assure you Ted, I've never had any problems getting accquainted..." he looked back over his shoulder, Andrew was immersed in his next recruit's paperwork but smiled again when he looked up and caught him staring. Cody smiled back, making a mental note and filing it away under 'things to think about' in his brain.

Andrew was fucking gorgeous, but Cody was at bible camp after all, and he wasn't sure what the christian line was between friendliness and flirting... Heh, if he was elsewhere, he'd definitely have thought Andrew was flirting with him, but here, under these circumstances, the chances were surely less than zero, slim to none, all of the above, right?  
Cody wanted to be sure before he took any chances and got himself thrown into the firey pits of hell, because it could very easily be that Andrew was simply just a nice guy, like Ted...

He was shaken from his reverie by Ted at that exact moment, who was enthusing quite dramatically about the girl who'd registered him.

"Did you see her tits?! Cody that tshirt was so tight on her! Did you see?!"

Cody looked at him, crestfallen, "Er, no, sorry dude, can't say I noticed,"

"You didn't notice?!" Ted exclaimed accusingly, "But she was smokin'!"

"Really? Sounds like I missed out,"

"Yeah! Damn straight dude! I can't believe you didn't notice!"

"Well sorry! Geez man, it's not the end of the fuckin world! I guess I was a bit, I dunno, preoccupied maybe, like, registering and all,"

"Yeah, you must've been." Ted gave him a very strange look, turning up the path towards their camping area.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Cody wanted to know, trotting behind him.

"What?"

"I dunno, you're the one shooting me funny looks,"

"Am I?!"

"Yeah," Cody stood defiant, hands on hips, waiting for an explanation.

"Sorry man," Ted wasn't looking at him, "I didn't mean to, it's nothing anyway, don't even worry about it,"

But it was something, and Cody knew it. Ted knew it too, but he'd never say anything. He'd never tell Cody that he'd noticed, that he'd seen the way Cody was sometimes, the way he was looking at that guy just now, the way he looked at _him_ sometimes... no, he'd never say anything.

It was wrong, right? Cody didn't know what he was doing... right? That was one of the reasons Ted wanted him to come here in the first place, to help him get through it, because it was just a phase he was going through, right? He was still so young...

"Okay," Cody decided he'd be better letting it drop, and followed Ted quietly up the path towards zone C, wishing it didn't have to be this way, thinking about how every step Ted took closer to becoming a minister, was going to be a step further apart in their friendship. The cracks were already appearing, it was evident even with all the things left unsaid. He didn't want to hide things from Ted, not at all, quite the opposite in fact, he wanted to share everything with him, explore together, experience together.  
But Ted could never know the truth, and at this stage Cody would rather keep living a lie to increase their time together, preserve their friendship as long as he could. But he knew that all too soon the day would come when Ted would discover the truth, when Cody couldn't hold it in any more, and Ted would reject him forever. With each passing day, as it grew harder and harder to hide, he steeled himself for the final inevitable showdown that he knew would end it all.

"Cody! Earth to Cody!"

"Wh, huh?"

"I've been talking to you for five fucking minutes man,"

"Sorry, I was miles away..."

"I noticed." Now it was Ted's turn to stand hands on hips, waiting for an explanation, "Did you hear a word I even said?"

"No, sorry.... Ted...I..."

"What?"

"Never mind,"

"No, what?" he took a step closer, "Tell me,"

"It's okay," Cody shook his head and went to continue past Ted, but he grabbed him by the shoulders, spinning him back round.

"Seriously dude, if you've got something to say, fucking tell me,"

Cody took a deep breath, closing his eyes as his brain focused in on Ted's hands clutching his arms tightly, "I'm..."

"Hi there guys!"

As Cody opened his mouth, his eyes flew open in surprise, the moment was lost as they were confronted by yet another buddy christ counsellor. He was so zoned in on himself and Ted standing there he hadn't even heard him approach, but relief flooded through him like wildfire and he nodded furiously at the question now posed as he fought for composure,

"You guys for C?"

"Yeah," Ted answered, shooting Cody a look that said he hadn't forgotten and they'd be continuing this little chat at the next available opportunity.

Cody was making exceptionally good eye contact with christ and doing an even better job at avoiding Ted's eyes as he walked past him, following this new guy up the road.

It wasn't long before they were unpacked, tent up, settled in, with not a single word spoken as they changed into their swimming gear and headed back outside an hour later.

Cody wondered whether it might have been better for Andrew to put them in separate groups after all, if this sullen silence to make any moody teenager proud was going to be the quality of the conversation between them. At the thought of Andrew, a small smile escaped his lips, and he wondered when he'd get to see him again. He draped his towel over his shoulder as he walked, lost in his own thoughts, oblivious to Ted's scrutiny.

As they reached a small clearing, they headed up the fork in the road away from where they'd registered, the crowds of kids dispersed now into their respective designated areas. As Cody glanced over, Andrew walked out of the door, beach towel flung round his neck, and he couldn't help his eyes lighting up, not unnoticed by Ted, and lingering slightly longer than necessary as the solitary figure made his way towards them.

"Hey guys! Cody, and er, Ted?"

"Hey man, " Ted just nodded, eyes narrowed slightly as he took in his appearance, what the hell was this guys' deal?

But he seemed amiable enough, chatting excitedly about the trip they'd be embarking on in the morning, telling stories of the previous camps he'd done, all in all, nothing Ted could really find fault with, much to his chagrin.  
They seemed to reach the end of the path, and as they mounted the summit of the slight incline, the lake lay before them. It was a scene of unsurmountable beauty, nestled away as it were, with the mountains spreading out behind them, and they stopped to take it all in.

"Not bad is it?" Andrew remarked, leading the way down, pointing out to Cody where the river began that they'd be heading to the next day, his eyes widening as he queried where the hell they had to swim to now to pass this test.

"Oh only to the other side man," Andrew said flippantly, Cody's incredulous face making him laugh.

"Fuck off! How far really?"

"Cody! Language! Remember what I told you!" Ted hissed angrily out the side of his mouth.

"Hey, hey, chill your boots man, it's cool, I don't give a fuck. Some of the others might, but hey, lucky you're in my group then huh?" Andrew countered, shooting Ted a look that said _'what the fuck's your problem man?'_.

Ted huffed, that piece of news not a welcome one to his ears, not at all, but Cody seemed delighted, and content to tell him so.

"Awesome!" he was definitely too happy about it for Ted's liking and Andrew chuckled, something Ted decided he didn't like at all. They were getting on like a damn house on fire!

As they reached the pier, people started gathering around, and everyone was given instructions. An hour later they'd all passed and got their licence to get out the canoes. There was a bit of practice for the rusty few and the novice's, and everyone else had a little paddle around as they waited for Andrew to call it a day. Rumbling bellies all round signalled the approach of dinner time, and as they neared the camp again, the smell of the communal campfire reached their nostrils as the smoke gently wafted through the trees.

The earlier groups were in full throttle, organisational mode set in, counsellors dishing out orders left right and centre. Everyone mucked in here, it was all about community spirit, so hopefully everything would be ready by the time they got back from changing out of their wet gear, and although they had to help clear up later, they weren't rota'd onto dinner duties until day 3. Everything worked on a rotational basis.

But as they sat down to eat, everyone placing their hands clasped together in front of themselves to say thanks for what they were about to receive, Cody found himself getting antsy, he couldn't do it. This was the first real sign of anything properly religious, and he couldn't pretend. His eyes darted around looking at all the sincere faces glowing in the light of the flames as they danced through the embers, unaware of the eyes upon him in return, as Andrew stood there across from him. As uncomfortable as Cody felt, Andrew felt it tenfold, he knew what he was going through.

Hearing Cody's frustrated sigh beside him, Ted squeezed his eyes shut extra tight, praying extra hard for Cody's soul, thanking the lord for bringing him to him, for letting him guide him, for accompanying him despite everything. Ted promised himself that night, that he'd never let Cody suffer alone, suffer in silence, he'd save him, he'd bring him to salvation, he'd bring him, to him.

Later, Cody heard the words of the evening's 'worship experience' filtering through the window at him as he washed the last few remaining dishes with a few others in his group. He'd been paired with a guy who was nodding along to every word, every sentence uttered, looking as though every syllable had only just occurred to him and awoken him from some deep slumber. Cody avoided his dumbstruck face everytime he turned to him with an exclamation of 'Amen!' or 'Save us Jesus!' genuinely shocked at the minescule amount of independant thought required to 'believe'. He yawned widely, genuinely exhausted, but also insanely bored at the dreary voice droning on, supposedly providing enlightenment as it talked of salvation from sin. 'Repent and ye shall be saved!'

"Bullshit," he murmered to himself as his companion made his way outside, joining the others round the campfire. Ted was already there, his clear away duty falling ahead of Cody's washing up. Normally Cody would be hurrying to finish any menial task to get to Ted quicker, but tonight he found himself dragging out the dishes one by one, anything to avoid that torture.

"Fucking _balls_ man," he shook his head, chuckling to himself at something he found particularly absurd, then his heart jumped to his throat as a voice piped up next to him.

"You're really not into this whole thing, are you dude?"

Cody sputtered at Andrew's remark, unsure which road to perdition would get him out of his blunder.

"Relax. Why the fuck do you think I'm in the kitchen man? This is where you'll be seeing me most every night during 'worship experience time', when we've got a kitchen to hide in that is. So chill, your secret's safe with me man."

"But..." Cody was sceptical, that was the last thing he expected to hear, "But you're a counsellor!"

"Dude, I'm a waterskiing instructor. I also teach canoeing and white water rafting. It's a job man, it pays the bills."

"Oh, heh, nice one. But how, don't you have to be..."

"What's a little white lie between me and Jesus about whether I was christened or not? Huh? I won't tell him if you don't."

A light seemed to switch itself on in Cody's mind, and his smirk grew wider as he regarded Andrew with interest. "I knew there was a reason I liked you,"

*******


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: This story was originally written as a REQUEST in a meme over at Live Journal. I often partake in the prompts and challenges set in the various communities. And the very particular inspiration was a real life postcard in the book 'POST SECRETS', where people can send in anonymous postcards saying whatever their deepest darkest secrets are and they get published, there's a website too. Anyway, the postcard in question specifically said "I had gay sex at bible camp... 3 times!" so this became the request and title of the fic, to be specifically applied to the Codiasi pairing, due to Ted DiBiase's real life religious leanings. ****However when I published it here, due to the strict ratings code, I was informed it was an inappropriate title and should be toned down. So I did. I called it 'Awakening' instead. Yet that caused all sorts of problems because it seems people are unable to read summaries, and I got alot of messages from people saying they were offended etc. Um, you're reading slash... which it clearly states... and the bible camp part was clearly mentioned in the summary... yet still I got complaints. It's just a coming of age story, it's not anything offensive to anyone, it just outlines the particular dilemmas that could be experienced by teenagers trying to come to terms with their sexuality in an environment/upbringing that doesn't necessarily accommodate them. A very real thing that goes on all the time. So anyway, I changed the summary to be more explicit so people would realise. But no, people seem to like skipping summaries... so I figured to hell with it I'll just put it back to its real title 'I Had Gay Sex At Bible Camp... 3 Times'. If people can't figure out from that what this is about then that is not my problem. I'm sick of apologising. It's a nice story, it's about love. If you're willingly reading slash then get over it. So anyway in the midst of updating the title my pc got a virus and I somehow lost the whole post (along with various other things like my newest fic too) so I've had to re-upload it, which I figured I'd do a chapter at a time like I originally did. Again I don't see why people feel the need to inform me of this either, because um, yes, I know it had a different name, I know I already published it. I also know WHY I changed the name and I also know all about the endless shit I copped cos of this fic. If you don't like it you don't have to read it. And guess what, since I changed the name back to its more explicit title, it's had over double the hits it _ever had_ before in just the few days it's been changed. **

***

The next morning dawned bright and early, everyone stood in the still clear light, shivering slightly in the breeze, the golden rays radiating red across the lake as the sun made its first appearance, welcoming in the new day.

Cody turned to Ted with a wry smile as the excitement built in him, this was what he'd been looking forward to. Ted had still not really spoken to him since they were interrupted yesterday, a gruff word here and there, a stiff nod, a glare or two. Cody shook it off, trying to not let it get to him, but he was pleased as punch when Ted returned his smile with one of his own, his eyes alight with the onset of adventure.

Andrew had partnered them together, Cody owed him one for that, and they received their instructions, checked off their supplies and made their first venture onto the clear blue lake. Cutting through its calm stillness, sending ripples out on top of the hidden murkey depths, they rowed in unison, completely at ease with the world, with each other.

Rendezvous for lunch was in another few hours, and they found themselves pulling further ahead of the group with ease as they made their way through the shallow waters. The sky was a brilliant golden red spreading overhead as they continued, just the calming sound of the splash of the oars and their own breathing breaking the silence.

Ted was glad he'd spent some extra time in the gym before he arrived, his shoulders feeling the pull already. Cody seemed to be doing just fine, lost in his own peaceful world and the motion of the row. His dad already had him on some major fucking heavyduty assed 6am daily weight training regime, and it seemed to have paid off. Ted watched him, the smooth movement hypnotising him further with each stroke.

As the water grew choppier, the strong current of the river merging in with the tidal lap of the waves on the lake, they began to enter their destination, their new home.

"The Crow Wing River Ted, home for twenty miles, three days, you okay to be stuck with me for that long?"

"Of course I am stupid," Ted scoffed, momentarily dazed as he was awakened from his trance.

"Fine then."

"Fine,"

"That's good then,"

"It is,"

"Can we stop this?"

"What?"

"Ted please? Why are you so fucked off with me? Again? I can't do anything right for you at the moment, I thought you wanted me to come? But the whole time you've hardly said a fucking word to me."

"You've got other people clamouring for your attention, you said yourself, you have no problems _getting accquainted_... you can talk to them, been doing enough of it already."

"What the fuck is that even supposed to mean? What other people? And it's a problem if I talk to people now? I don't even wanna talk to_ them_, I wanna talk to _you_, you fucking idiot. I came here for you Ted! I sure as hell can think of a million other places I'd rather be!"

"You didn't have to come you know!"

"I fucking know I didn't! I didn't fucking want to! But I still did!"

"You don't say,"

Cody spluttered, his oars forgotten, now facing Ted as he glared at him in confusion, "What the fuck does that mean?"

Ted ran a hand over his hair as he sighed, he didn't even know what he was saying himself. "I dunno, I dunno what it means,"

"You didn't want me to come did you?"

"Don't be a dick,"

"Don't be a dick? Yeah, nice one Ted, real mature. You're the one being a fucking dick! After all that fucking begging! I finally relent, under sufferance might I add, because I'm willing to give up my summer holiday to hang out with you, yet now I'm here I'm cramping your style, is that it? Well guess what Ted now you're stuck with me! How'd you like them apples huh?!"

"Cody, stop it,"

"Stop it?! Stop what? Asking you to tell me the truth? You know what Ted, fuck you,"

"Cody, I'm sorry! I do want you here, honest!"

"Might wanna try acting like it then," Cody mumbled to himself as he rowed furiously away, the fury rising in him at Ted having the audacity to tell him to stop it! Stop what? Being a loyal fucking friend? Being in love with him? Fuck, he knows, he fucking knows, he must do, it's the only explanation...

The wind started to whip Cody's face as he rowed harder, refusing to heed Ted's call, refusing to let it hit him, that the end had started. He looked up at the sky, taking in lungfuls of air, morning now fully broken, the red tinge of dawn still leaking out over the horizon.  
_Red sky at night, shepherd's delight, red sky in the morning, shepherd's warning,_ he said to himself, the words rolling around and around in his head, fully aware the storm in the sky wasn't the only one of impending doom.

…

Ted hung his head, unable to fully comprehend what had just happened, that he'd pushed Cody away, pushed his friend away with his own stupidity, because he couldn't own up to the fact that he'd practically been caught out staring at him. Lost he was, lost in the movement of Cody's shoulders as he pulled with every stroke. Now he sat watching him again, the same movement drawing him in, but this time, with Cody rowing away.

Away from him.

Because of him.

As the first drops of rain fell, splashing sporadically into the water around him with a plop, Ted's first thought was of Cody. He was so far ahead now Ted could hardly even see him, and he used every morsel of strength to catch up to him. Within seconds he was soaked to the bone, the rhythmic pounding of the driving rain working like a mantra in his mind to spur him on. Was it supposed to rain up here at this time of year? He didn't know, but he was sure it was undeniably heavy, the swirling grey clouds above him a sign of things to come, indicating at the very least a stormy squall heading his way.

An hour later, still forcing his way through the downpour, the waters noticably swollen around him, the wind suddenly picked up and the crash of thunder made him jump out of his skin. A mad crack of lightening in the distance made him suddenly wonder if this canoeing business was such a good idea after all.

Using every last ounce of strength he had, he attempted to steer himself clear of the bank which the wind was forcing him into, he was sure the rendezvous point was only minutes away, he'd seen the sign, just round this bend, he was sure. But as he struggled to push himself free, a resounding crack echoed behind him, lighting up the now dismal grey surrounds as an eerie creak resonated around, as the giant skeleton of an ancient oak towering above him was struck from its foundations. Smoke billowed from the roots as Ted watched in horror and it started its descent towards him, filling the air with a whoosh and falling debris, before crashing, terrifyingly, devastatingly, into the river before his very eyes, completely blocking his path.

Next thing he knew, he was under water, flailing helplessly as he desperately tried to right himself, a falling branch capsizing his canoe and thrusting him under the waves of the fallen trunk.

Suddenly, he could've sworn he heard someone shouting his name, DiBiase, DiBiase, over and over again, and just as all hope was drifting away in his suddenly crystal clear mind, a strong hand reached down and pulled him upright by the scruff of his neck. As he gasped for air, the torrential rain beat down on his face, stinging his eyes enough that you couldn't see where the rain stopped and the tears began, and he stared into the screaming face of Andrew.

"DiBiase!" he shouted again, finally getting through, "Where's Cody? Where is he?"

"I don't know!" Ted screamed through the roar of the storm, his heart racing then stopping as Andrew's words penetrated his brain.

"Where did he go? Which way did he go?" Andrew was shaking him now, desperately trying to find out.

"He was ahead of me, I don't know, I don't know, fuuuck, CODY!" he screamed, "He was heading to the rest stop, Andrew, please, help me find him! CODY!"

Andrew nodded, clasping his shoulders firmly, "I am, I am, Ted, listen to me, did he get out of the water? Do you know?"

Ted shook his head, filled with horror, "I don't know! I don't know! Oh god! Where is he? CODY!" he screamed again, choking back sobs as Andrew looked around.

"Look, I'll row up further, in case he's stuck somewhere like you were. You go that way, around the tree, the camp is literally a few hundred yards away, we're really close, okay? Can you climb up there?"

"Huh?" Ted looked at his trapped canoe then at Andrew like he was stupid, but Andrew just shook his head.

"No time for that now, it won't go anywhere, I'll come back for it later, we gotta find Cody," When Ted still stared at him he roared his orders again, "GO! On foot you idiot! Get the fuck up there now! Wait by the camp! Do you hear me? Do not get back in the water, and do not fucking come back for your boat! You hear me?"

Ted nodded frantically, preparing to climb onto the bank, he was looking for a solid foothold when he heard it, it was his name, reverberating around his brain, getting lost in the wind, but he heard it, he was sure.

He'd stopped mid climb, and Andrew was looking at him like he was a complete fool,

"What the fuck are you doing man? Get up there! Do you wanna find him or not?!"

"Sshhhhh!" Ted barked, holding his hand up to shush him as he listened. There it was again...

"TEDDDDDD!" his name whispering through the breeze, but where was it coming from? Suddenly Ted was all business, his own predicament forgotten in his haste to find his friend.

"That way!" Andrew shouted, suddenly pointing, "It's getting louder!"

Ted scrambled up the bank, sliding in the undergrowth, nearly ending up back in the river a few times before making it to the top, frantically looking through the trees as he stood up.

They listened, silent against the drumming rain, the howling wind and the crash of the thunder, straining to hear Cody's voice again. Suddenly a figure came sprinting around the side of the fallen oak skeleton, enormous roots of the tree clawing at his face as he ran through them, mud and twigs flying everywhere, eyes only for Ted as he beelined straight for him falling into his arms.

Ted raced towards him, falling to his knees as they collapsed together, his heart hammering in his chest like never before, not even attempting to hide his sobs now as he clutched desperately at Cody, holding him close, hating himself for the way things could've ended, promising to never fall out with him ever again.

"Promise?" Cody screamed into his ear through the rush of the river as it broke its banks, nearly sweeping them from their feet, frantically keeping each other upright as they scrambled to safety, clinging together, "Fucking promise me Ted!"

"I promise! I swear it man, I'll never do that to you ever again,"

"What happened?"

"The tree fell, I was stuck, Andrew saved me, fuck, where is he?" In his haste to get to his friend he'd completely forgotten his saviour.

"He's there, he's there! Andrew!" Cody screamed at him, desperately looking around for a tree branch long enough for him to cling onto, but he refused.

"No! I'm going to look for the others!" he shouted back, "They got out of the water as soon as the storm hit! They're holed up a bit further back along the bank! But they might need help!"

"Are you sure? It's not safe! Get out of the fucking water man! At least go on foot!" Cody screamed at him, but he was determined,

"No, it's quicker this way! Get back to the camp! Stay inside! When it's safe the others can join you here! It might be tonight, it might be in the morning, just stay in there okay?!"

"Okay, okay," Cody nodded frantically, Ted's eyes were wide as Andrew turned his boat around to move along with the frantic pace of the swollen current. "Be careful!" he screamed at him as he was swept away.

"Oh my god, Cody,"

"He'll be fine, come on, let's go!"

"Not him, you! YOU! I almost lost you!"

"No you didn't, I was fine, I was already almost here, I got out of the water as soon as the first of the storm hit, come on, run!"

"I thought I'd lost you Codes!"

"I thought I'd lost you too," Cody turned to him as they ran, "I was so scared I'd lost you Ted, when I saw that tree go down..." he turned away as they ducked through some undergrowth, "I couldn't figure out how to get there,"

They suddenly emerged in the camp, out of nowhere, Ted's surprised "Oh," evident on his face,

"Quick, in here, get inside," Cody headed straight for the reception cabin, ready for their arrival for lunch, the only solid building in the campsite, and as they slammed the door, the wind and the rain banished, the hammering against the window panes became a distant memory as they stood there, drenched, dripping wet, staring at each other, panting, voices hoarse with shouting. And as they stood, as they stared, as they fell into each other, claiming each others mouth for their own, their panting didn't abate, their breathing only deepened as they gasped for air, furiously clutching at one another as if at any moment they might be wrenched apart again.

Falling to the floor they each stripped the other of the sodden remnants of their clothes, hands working to warm the waterlogged skin as they shuddered with cold, huddled together, shivering under the pile of blankets found ready waiting by the door.

"Cody, I..."

"Sshhh, don't say anything," he diverted any further attempts at speech with his mouth pressed firmly to Ted's lips once more, drawing the blanket closer around them as Ted's hand came up to slowly explore Cody's face.

"What are we doing Cody?"

"I don't know..."

"Don't stop..."

"Sshhh...."

Cody's hand found it's way to Ted's thigh as he leant closer into him, the warmth from their bodies spreading through each limb, each finger, awakening their senses as Ted slowly, gently caressed his face. He stared into his eyes, their lips meeting hesitantly, their arms encircling each other and their bodies moulded together as they sank breathlessly to the floor.

***


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: This story was originally written as a REQUEST in a meme over at Live Journal. I often partake in the prompts and challenges set in the various communities. And the very particular inspiration was a real life postcard in the book 'POST SECRETS', where people can send in anonymous postcards saying whatever their deepest darkest secrets are and they get published, there's a website too. Anyway, the postcard in question specifically said "I had gay sex at bible camp... 3 times!" so this became the request and title of the fic, to be specifically applied to the Codiasi pairing, due to Ted DiBiase's real life religious leanings. ****However when I published it here, due to the strict ratings code, I was informed it was an inappropriate title and should be toned down. So I did. I called it 'Awakening' instead. Yet that caused all sorts of problems because it seems people are unable to read summaries, and I got alot of messages from people saying they were offended etc. Um, you're reading slash... which it clearly states... and the bible camp part was clearly mentioned in the summary... yet still I got complaints. It's just a coming of age story, it's not anything offensive to anyone, it just outlines the particular dilemmas that could be experienced by teenagers trying to come to terms with their sexuality in an environment/upbringing that doesn't necessarily accommodate them. A very real thing that goes on all the time. So anyway, I changed the summary to be more explicit so people would realise. But no, people seem to like skipping summaries... so I figured to hell with it I'll just put it back to its real title 'I Had Gay Sex At Bible Camp... 3 Times'. If people can't figure out from that what this is about then that is not my problem. I'm sick of apologising. It's a nice story, it's about love. If you're willingly reading slash then get over it. So anyway in the midst of updating the title my pc got a virus and I somehow lost the whole post (along with various other things like my newest fic too) so I've had to re-upload it, which I figured I'd do a chapter at a time like I originally did. Again I don't see why people feel the need to inform me of this either, because um, yes, I know it had a different name, I know I already published it. I also know WHY I changed the name and I also know all about the endless shit I copped cos of this fic. If you don't like it you don't have to read it. And guess what, since I changed the name back to its more explicit title, it's had over double the hits it _ever had_ before in just the few days it's been changed. **

***

Cody peppered Ted's face with kisses, feeling his body melt into him as his eyes closed, his head thrown back, a soft moan escaping his lips.

"Is this what you want Cody?" he murmured into his neck with a sigh.

"Ted please," Cody was virtually begging him, "Don't say anything, you don't have to," he continued to run his hands delicately over the now searing skin under the blankets, his words ghosting over the shell of Ted's ear as he whispered, fearing if Ted acknowledged anything, if he admitted it out loud that would be the end of it all, the day he dreaded the most. The end.

But Ted kept talking, his hands exploring Cody's body in a dreamlike state, it was only the first time, but it was as if it was the last. It was as if he was trying to commit it to memory, every last detail, memorising every last piece of him, the feel of his skin beneath his fingers, the scent of his rain drenched hair, the muscles rippling to his touch.

"But I do Cody, I do have to say something," he whispered into Cody's hair as the young man attached himself to his neck, gently nuzzling as he covered every millimetre with his lips, sloppy open mouthed kisses, trying to get in as much of his Ted as he could, while he still could, because Cody feared he was running out of time, and his heart tightened in his chest as he clung on. His insecurities were clouding his judgement, his paranoia controlling his mind, it was all too good to be true, surely? But he was wrong, for Ted was coming to a realisation, enlightenment, to Ted it was truly a new beginning.

"If I don't say it now, I never will..."

"What? Say it Ted, just fucking say it," he sighed, a heart wrenching sigh which as much as he tried to hide it conveyed all his insecurities, all his fears, he was resigned to the fact.

"Cody I.."

"No!" Cody cried suddenly, "Don't Ted, please don't make this real..."

Ted lay there, staring up at him, wracked with confusion and uncertainty, why was Cody saying things like that? Didn't he want it to be happening? Didn't he want it to be real?

"But it is real, this is really happening, Cody don't you... don't you want this?"

But Cody remained silent, kissing slowly and sensuously along Ted's jawline, breathing lightly over the moistened path as he worked his way up to his ear.

"Just feel Teddy, don't think, just feel..." he whispered, sending a surge of electricity down Ted's spine as he lay intoxicated, every single pore on his body alive with sensation, tingling as goosebumps broke out all over his skin.

He turned his face to the side, desperately seeking the warm mouth doing wonders to his body, meshing their lips together as he found it, devouring Cody as he languidly climbed on top of him. Pulling himself across, Cody eased his thigh between Ted's legs, pressing in firmly and grinding his hips into Ted's groin.

He could feel the heat of his rapidly thickening length lying against his skin, and longed to see Ted's body beneath the comfort of the covers. Easing himself across even further and straddling his hips, Cody reached inbetween their bodies, his hand eagerly taking hold of both now straining cocks.

He slowly, torturously so, worked them together, up and down, running his palm tantalisingly over the swollen heads then pressing down hard at the base each time. Ted was writhing beneath him, his cock twitching in his hand, already leaking as the head pulsed each time Cody's hand reached the top.

He continued exploring Ted's mouth with his tongue for a few minutes as he kissed him deeply, jacking them slightly faster with each upward motion, before raising his hips and edging forward, letting go completely.

Ted's eyes opened impossibly wide as Cody kept him occupied with his tongue, while reaching around behind himself to grasp Ted again with one hand, and placing Ted's hand on his own cock with the other.

He pumped him a few more times before guiding him towards his entrance, slowly rubbing the leaking head of Ted's cock over the puckered skin, clenching each time it dipped in slightly, preparing as he went by pressing in a little harder every time he ran over.

Continuing his assault on Ted's now panting mouth, he eased the head of his cock into his tight heat a little further, relaxing his muscles with every clench whilst rhythmically fisting his rock solid shaft.

Deciding not to torture Ted any further, he finally lowered himself fully, his hand moving to spread himself further as he felt the entry with his fingers. Gasping against his lips as he moaned, Ted buried his face in Cody's neck in disbelief, rocked to the core as Cody started to move.

Holding his breath and gasping for air simultaneously, he was lost in the sensations engulfing his body from below. He lost himself in the little things, the feel of Cody's skin against his cheek, his hair tickling his nose as he breathed in the scent of the still damp strands.

He was lost, falling, fast, incoherent as the feeling of the movement surrounded him, engulfing the very fibre of his being, just as Cody's tight, hot body was doing to him below, rising and lowering excruciatingly slowly along the length of his own pulsing heat.

Thrusting himself forward, his cock acted of its own accord, his back arching violently off the floor in a desperate attempt to chase the sensation as Cody rose again, following his movements as for a mere second he threatened to release him into the cold night air each time before plunging himself back down. Harder, faster, into its safe warm haven, the near loss of contact eliciting something akin to a whimper from Ted's trembling lips, wanting it back, needing it back.

His hands were frantic, fingers attempting to meet Cody's, making their way down to feel where their bodies joined, but Cody batted his hand away each time in a desperate attempt to preserve the moment, stop it from becoming too real in Ted's mind, stop him from over thinking things and scaring himself off.

But Ted wasn't to be dissuaded, he was living out his very own personal epiphany, running on pure adrenalin, he couldn't have activated a single logical brain cell had he tried, but at the same time new dark recesses of his cranial cavity were awakening as if from a deep slumber, a bright light coming on to illuminate things previously unknown, unheard of, shunned, repressed, quashed, feelings just waiting to be felt, experienced, awakened, aroused.

But Cody didn't know this, he wasn't privy to the inner workings of Ted's previously closed and controlled mind, and Ted strived to show him, to make him see. His hands had their own ideas about how to go about it, instinctively, desperately grasping at every inch of Cody's skin they could reach, kneading, squeezing, feeling, touching him, wanting to know every bit of him by heart, wanting him to know in return what he'd done for him, awakened in him. He finally understood, how can something so powerful, so immense, so good, be wrong?

It can't be.

It's not.

As he sank further into the pheromone cloud, all semblance of normality changed forever, all concern for his previous convictions utterly thrown out the window as his body controlled him, and Cody's body owned him.  
He drove his hips up harder and faster to meet Cody's downward thrust, arms wrapped now tightly around his neck, holding him into a devastatingly furious kiss as his fingers entwined themselves in his hair.

Suddenly, the urge to see more, to feel more, took over and Ted, hardly even aware of his actions, rolled Cody over onto his back. Barely missing a beat as their thrusting continued, the pain was instantaneous as Cody cried out.

Pounding forcefully into him as he knelt between his thighs, Ted was oblivious, mesmerised by the sight before him, watching his cock disappearing each time he drove forward. His fingers lingered at the soft skin surrounding it, feeling where their bodies joined together, letting out a sob as it blew his mind.

Cody's heart sank, biting his lip harder to block out the searing pain, his insecurities making him sure Ted would come to his senses at any second, his convictions regarding Ted's religious ideals in the forefront of his mind, far stronger than Ted's at that moment in time, and he scrunched his eyes tightly shut, anything to avoid seeing the horror on Ted's face when he realised what he was doing.

But it wasn't to be, Ted was lost, Cody should've heeded his own advice, to just go with it, just feel, Ted was in so deep there could be no turning back, but Cody didn't see it. All he saw was the force behind Ted's movements, the hitch in his breath, the glazed look in his eye as his pounding grew violent, harder and faster, Ted's hands now gripping his hips in an attempt to bring them even closer together, slamming Cody down onto him with such force that he couldn't feel anything anymore.

The pounding rhythm continued, lulling him into a false sense of security, almost transcending the pain as his mind took him away from it all, until Ted's fingers, embedded in the soft flesh and sure to leave angry bruises, gripped even harder for the final time as spasming and convulsing above him, Ted shuddered to a standstill.

Gasping, panting, breathless, opening his eyes to see Cody's shut tight, expecting to be met by a sea of blue, instead, he faced the journey of a single tear as it squeezed its way out from under the dark lashes splayed perfectly against the tanned skin. His heart stopped for a moment as it made its way down what he suddenly realised was a well worn track, slowly down the slope of the flushed cheekbone to disappear from view.

Staring, horrified, Ted pulled back, stifling a gasp at the sight of Cody swallowing the lump in his throat as their bodies separated. Scooting backwards, he hit the wall, his mouth hanging open, aghast at what he'd done, it wasn't meant to be like that.

"Teddy, I'm sorry,"

"What? Ohmygod no..." It was a strangled cry as he watched Cody's hands, already balled into fists, slowly relinquish their hold on the blanket below him as they moved to knuckle his eyes.

He stilled at Ted's words. "Teddy?" he rose to his elbows, his eyes questioning, hesitant, before reaching forward gingerly as he sat up.

Wincing, Ted recoiled, devastated at the sight of Cody in pain that he'd caused, pain his actions were responsible for, "Oh my god what have I done, what the fuck have I done?"

"No, no, I'm sorry Teddy, please..."

"No, Cody, no, you don't understand, that's not what I wanted, not like that, it wasn't supposed to be like that...it's not, right,"

Cody withdrew his hand as though scalded, his heart breaking into a thousand tiny pieces, "It's okay, Ted, I wanted it, so I guess that makes me not right too..."

"No that's not what I mean,"

"It's okay, I get it, I understand, honestly,"

"No, Cody...you're not listening...I never meant to hurt you, it shouldn't have happened,"

"I know Ted, I'm so sorry, It shouldn't have happened..." he echoed, broken, "I expected this... I knew, I always knew..." he trailed off, closing his eyes, taking a deep breath as he rose to his feet, taking Ted's words at face value, the impact and his own expectations stopping him from seeing what Ted was trying to say.

"Knew what?" Ted reached forward as Cody stepped away, "No, Cody, don't go..."  
He scrambled to his knees, looking on in despair as he walked away, "Where are you going?"

But Cody didn't hear his cry, it was swallowed up by the storm as he stepped into the night, the wind slamming the door behind him. It screamed through the trees, whistling overhead, icy fingers wrapping him in a cold embrace as he leant back against the hard wood, sinking to the floor, empty, hollow, numb.

Broken.

Ted sat there, still, frozen, his words dying in his throat as he stared at the back of the closed door Cody disappeared through, taking his whole world with him. A world he'd only just gained, that he'd been holding out on for so long, snatched cruelly from him at the moment it had finally all made sense.

He collapsed to his knees, his eyes unseeing, uncomprehending what just happened, where it all went wrong, every bone in his body screaming for him to go after Cody, to fight for what he'd lost far too soon.

But he didn't.

He pleaded for Cody to walk back through the door, he begged himself to have the strength to follow him through it.

He couldn't.

He didn't deserve to make it right, he'd fucked it up before it had even begun, before it even had a chance to become something. He'd already failed in his promise of only hours before, and had now lost Cody forever.

Gathering the blankets around himself, he fell to the floor, cocooned in his sarcophagus he lay unseeing, unblinking, staring at the ceiling for what could've been hours, could've been minutes. All sense of time eluded him as his life crashed around him, his world in tatters, everything he'd held close to his heart his entire life in question now as his new convictions took hold, stronger than ever, destroying the old ones piece by piece, one by one, stamping them down, crushing them into oblivion where they belong.

His heart slowly shattered as it mourned the Ted of old, then gradually started to grow again, glowing faintly as the first glimmer of hope rose in the far reaches of his mind, rebuilding itself from the ashes, the scattered shards rejoining as a decision was made, moulding the jagged edges back together until the final piece clicked into place in his brain, a new Ted was born.

He rolled onto his side, curling himself into a ball and dragging the covers with him as he took the first breath of the rest of his life.

***

It had been ages since he sat and watched a storm like this. He had no idea how long he'd been sitting there now, it felt like forever. He may as well stay out there for the rest of eternity too, no point in going back in, no point in anything else. He knew where he wasn't wanted. If Ted wanted him he would've come after him, wouldn't he? Then he wouldn't be sitting out here in the rain, naked, wet, alone.

Everything was fucked.

He watched the spray from the pelting rain gather into droplets on his skin as the lightening flashed. The sky was bright, the clouds illuminated by the wrath of God as thunder peeled around him. Bringing his knees up to his chest he wrapped his arms around himself, some small comfort after the enormity of what he'd just lost, and resting his head on his arms he closed his eyes, despair washing over him, too numb to cry, too tired to care. He had no idea how long he stayed out there.

"Cody?" A quiet voice penetrated his senses as the storm howled overhead, the rain pounding down onto the wooden slatted roof above his head making him wonder if he'd imagined it. Teddy? No... His head snapped up, staring wild eyed as he felt a hand on his shoulder.  
Andrew.

The instant his eyes saw the concern etched on the other man's face, Cody's world fell apart and he crumbled against his shoulder as the strong arms encircled him.

"What's happened? What's wrong?"

Cody stayed silent for the longest time, unable to form the words he wanted to say, to express the enormity of a situation without giving anything away. He shivered against Andrew's soaking t-shirt, Jesus staring up at him through eyes far too happy for Cody's liking, taunting him, mocking him, you're wrong I'm right, ha ha!

"No!" he shouted suddenly, almost beside himself.

"What? What is it?"

"Fucking jesus!"

"What about him?"

"He's looking at me! It's all his fault!"

Andrew pulled him in closer, wondering what the hell had prompted all this. The last he'd seen was when he'd arrived back an hour ago and opened the door to behold the most intimate sight he'd ever witnessed without being a part of, and quickly beat a retreat as fast as his legs would carry him.

"What happened Cody?"

"He means more to Ted than I do..." Cody sounded so sad, so forlorn that Andrew wished he hadn't asked.

"Who? Jesus?"

"Yeah,"

"Fuck jesus! C'mon, let's get you inside.."

"No!"

"Why not? Cody, it's freezing.." he already knew the answer.

"Ted's in there!"

His voice was so quiet, so broken, that Andrew barely heard a word, but he didn't need to. He didn't want to probe into their private business, the last thing he wanted to do was prompt any more heart break.

"I know."

"I love him,"

Cody's eyes stared up at him, so wide, so innocent, he couldn't believe his own revelation.

"Yeah, I know,"

"You know? What the fuck?"

"Yeah, I just kinda, could tell,"

"How?! Do I look gay?!"

Andrew couldn't help but laugh, "No, you don't, I guess maybe I could just see it. I dunno..."

"You were watching me,"

"You noticed..."

"Yeah... I was watching you too... takes one to know one huh?"

"Yeah, I guess it does... Er, so, uh, what are we going to do about Ted? We can't stay out here forever..."

"Nothing. It doesn't matter anyway, he only has eyes for jesus," he sighed miserably, then chuckled despite himself at the look on Andrew's face. "What? Heh. Anyway, it's probably for the best, I was never gonna win that battle was I?"

Despite the wry smile he looked so dejected that Andrew pulled him towards him again, holding him close, "So, did you tell him how you feel? Is that why you're sitting out here freezing your butt off?"

"No... he...we..." he faltered, looking up, his eyes pleading, "_You know_... I can't say it..."

"It's okay, I, uh... I came back, I saw you... I mean I, I didn't see, you know, anything, I left... straight away..."

Cody nodded, glad not to have to verbalise it, "It's okay, it's just that, then... we.. I dunno, I dunno what even happened..."

"Did he hurt you?"

"No! Well, yeah, a bit, but it wasn't like that, he didn't mean to, I wanted it. I wanted him to... it was after..."

"... he freaked out,"

"Yeah. Or maybe it was me, I'm not even sure anymore... everything's so fucked up."

"Are you okay?"

Cody nodded, swallowing hard, determined not to crack under the pressure of a kind word, until a terrible thought struck him, and he paled visibly, "Oh god, you're not gonna tell on us are you?"

"Dude, you're not serious?"

"You can't Andrew, oh god, I saw what it said in the rules, I'm gonna get sent home arent I? Oh god, fuck! Ted will kill me, this will ruin his life, his dad will never speak to him again, he'll kill both of us! And you! Just for fucking fun he'll kill you, shoot the messenger and all that... oh my god, Andrew, Ted can't get sent home, please, I don't care what happens to me but I can't do that to Ted, please,"

Andrew stared in shock as Cody continued to ramble, "Seriously, Cody I..."

"I'll make it worth your while Andrew, I will," He started running his hands all over Andrew's soaking wet chest, kissing his face, "Please don't tell anyone," he whispered throatily into his ear, "I promise I'll make you feel real good..."

He brought their mouths together, his hands now desperately holding Andrew to him, stroking his cheek, "Cody... stop! What are you doing..."

"You've got to understand," Cody whispered against his lips as he continued to kiss him furiously, "This will destroy him, if anyone knew..."

"I do understand, Cody I do, I won't say a word, I promise, just stop, stop okay?"

Cody stopped. "Okay," he faltered, with a look of such broken despair that Andrew pulled him close again, just as he finally broke down, admitting defeat. "You don't want me either, do you? Ted doesn't want me, you don't want me, I'm not good enough, am I? I'm not good enough for anything."

His heart broke completely as he took deep heaving breaths into Andrew's chest, refusing to cry, refusing to let go completely.

"Shhh, Cody don't say that, it's not that at all... it's just... oh man," he sighed to himself, contemplating his next words, "Of course I fucking want you,"

Cody lifted his head, his eyes accusing, questioning, as Andrew took a deep breath before continuing, his judgement clouded, compromised, but in too deep to stop now, "I have done since the moment I laid eyes on you, but Cody, you're so young, and Ted, you love him, how would he feel if he knew what you were saying? What would Teddy think? Cody?"

Cody's expression was sullen, "Why would he even care? He doesn't love me back Andrew!" His voice cracked under the strain of saying the words out loud, things that had only been inside his own head for longer than he cared to remember. "He won't even know, unless you tell him." He murmured, his eyes taking on a different hue at the change in his demeanour, his voice lowering dramatically, dripping with not so hidden meaning, "Please... I need this..."

He continued his assault on Andrew's neck, his face, his chiselled features contorting at his quandry, "Cody! Think for a moment! Think about how you'll feel in the morning if you do this,"

"Feel? Feel? Don't talk to me about feelings! I can't feel anything anymore! What's the point? There's no one for me to wait for anymore, and let's face it, heh, there never was. And I always knew it in the back of my mind, you know? So what's the point in holding out? Give me one good reason!"

"I'm sorry, Cody I..."

"You said you want me, right?" he murmured seductively, climbing onto Andrew's lap,

"Cody..."

"Don't you?"

"Yes, I told you..."

"Well then take me,"

"I can't..."

"Please, Andrew, I need it, I need to feel... something, anything... I want you to... please?" The last word was a whisper, the desperation evident even to his own ears, but he was desperate, anything to stop this numb feeling consuming his soul more as every second passed.

"Cody, please... don't do this,"

"Make me stop then. C'mon. If you don't want it, make me stop. Fucking make me!" he challenged, pulling back, staring defiantly into Andrew's bright green eyes.

"I don't wanna make you..."

The instant the words left his lips he saw the change in Cody's eyes, his pupils dilating dramatically as he pounced, attaching himself to Andrew's lips once more.  
But this time, Andrew kissed him back.

He didn't fight off Cody's arms as they encircled him once more, he moaned as Cody pushed his thigh firmly into his groin and rubbed his half hard cock into his hip, within seconds bringing himself to attention again as he took hold of Andrew. He gasped as Cody worked him into a frenzy with one hand and grabbed fistfuls of his hair with the other, smashing their mouths together continuously, stifling any sound that might give them away.

Cody made his way down the hard, wiry body beneath him, one hand clamping down over Andrew's mouth as the other took his cock down the back of his throat. Working in tandem with his hand, Cody's mouth continued its sensual assault until Andrew was a writhing mess, back arching off the floor as their eyes met, thrusting down hard inside Cody's mouth before he let go, saying nothing out loud but his eyes conveying it all, 'fuck me' they begged.

But he remained silent, leaving the ball in Andrew's court as he climbed back up to claim his mouth, pulling him down on top of him, desperate to feel something other than the heartache and despair inflicted upon him earlier.

Their desperate coupling was over in minutes.

***


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: This story was originally written as a REQUEST in a meme over at Live Journal. I often partake in the prompts and challenges set in the various communities. And the very particular inspiration was a real life postcard in the book 'POST SECRETS', where people can send in anonymous postcards saying whatever their deepest darkest secrets are and they get published, there's a website too. Anyway, the postcard in question specifically said "I had gay sex at bible camp... 3 times!" so this became the request and title of the fic, to be specifically applied to the Codiasi pairing, due to Ted DiBiase's real life religious leanings. ****However when I published it here, due to the strict ratings code, I was informed it was an inappropriate title and should be toned down. So I did. I called it 'Awakening' instead. Yet that caused all sorts of problems because it seems people are unable to read summaries, and I got alot of messages from people saying they were offended etc. Um, you're reading slash... which it clearly states... and the bible camp part was clearly mentioned in the summary... yet still I got complaints. It's just a coming of age story, it's not anything offensive to anyone, it just outlines the particular dilemmas that could be experienced by teenagers trying to come to terms with their sexuality in an environment/upbringing that doesn't necessarily accommodate them. A very real thing that goes on all the time. So anyway, I changed the summary to be more explicit so people would realise. But no, people seem to like skipping summaries... so I figured to hell with it I'll just put it back to its real title 'I Had Gay Sex At Bible Camp... 3 Times'. If people can't figure out from that what this is about then that is not my problem. I'm sick of apologising. It's a nice story, it's about love. If you're willingly reading slash then get over it. So anyway in the midst of updating the title my pc got a virus and I somehow lost the whole post (along with various other things like my newest fic too) so I've had to re-upload it, which I figured I'd do a chapter at a time like I originally did. Again I don't see why people feel the need to inform me of this either, because um, yes, I know it had a different name, I know I already published it. I also know WHY I changed the name and I also know all about the endless shit I copped cos of this fic. If you don't like it you don't have to read it. And guess what, since I changed the name back to its more explicit title, it's had over double the hits it _ever had_ before in just the few days it's been changed. **

***

The morning dawned clear and bright, the sun streaming in through the cracks in the curtains upon three separate piles of blankets, rising and falling gently with each breath as they slept soundly in the far flung corners of the room.

The sense of calm had settled both outside and in, as if neither storm had ever happened.  
Andrew was the first to stir, the sunlight flickering across his face. Eventually rising he moved out onto the porch with a coffee to inspect the damage, already fully aware of the damage already done inside.

Soon, it was time to leave, he scrawled a note to inform them of his whereabouts and set off across the debris strewn yard, heading to help the rest of the group pack up their makeshift camp back down the river.

Ted had woken early, the sound of birdsong and the smell of pine and fresh air confusing him for a moment, where the hell was he?  
And why did he feel so shit?

There was a strange feeling permeating his senses, tugging at the corners of his memory to plunge him back to the misery of the night before.  
Still groggy, he caught the movement from the corner of his eye as Andrew had first stirred, and it all came flooding back.

Cody.

He had to fight his initial urge to sit bolt upright to see if he'd come back last night, but Andrew answered the question for him as he got up. Ted watched his boxer clad ass wander over to the Cody shaped bundle in the far corner, about as far away from Ted as he could possibly get, and stood over him for a second or two before heading towards the kitchen.

As he disappeared Ted strained to see Cody as best he could from the other side of the room, was he awake? No, he would've responded to Andrew standing there surely, but before he had the chance to find out he was back feigning sleep as Andrew walked in again, mug in hand, munching on some toast.

Ted's eyes would've widened had they not been pretending to sleep as Andrew headed towards him, and he sensed him kneeling down, observing him for a second before asking if he was okay.

"Dude, if you're awake, we need to talk, I'll be outside for the next ten minutes if you wanna join me for a sec man,"

Ted stiffened, concentrating on breathing, his stomach rumbling as the aroma of hot toast almost tempted him to follow as Andrew got up and headed outside.

What the fuck did he mean by that anyway? Talk about what exactly? How much did he know? He lay there contemplating every possible outcome of what he might want, but he didn't move a muscle.

Ted peered at Andrew from the window until he was out of sight, watching covertly as he headed for the path to the river. Letting the curtain fall back into place as he disappeared from view, he turned to survey the room, debating his next course of action. Cody still hadn't stirred, and as exhausted as Ted was, he knew there was no way he'd be able to get back to sleep, there was far too much weighing on his mind.

His eyes fell on the note Andrew had left on the table, and having entirely forgotten its existence, he practically pounced on it, booting the chair in his haste. His body went rigid with the effort of not screaming out, and he looked over to check if he'd inadvertently roused Cody, but still nothing. And scanning it quickly, he was almost even more disappointed to find nothing much of interest in the note either.

With a sigh and another glance in Cody's general direction, he decided on the best course of action, Andrew certainly had the right idea, toast.

The kitchen was enormous and stocked for yesterday's non-event lunch. So in no time at all, Ted found himself out on the porch just as Andrew had done, with a veritable feast, enjoying the morning. He leant back against the smooth wood of the door, closing his eyes, sipping his coffee, feeling slightly better about things now he had a full belly and a good helping of determination.

Cody had watched him go through the crack of an eyelid, much as Ted had been doing to Andrew before, and with a gigantic sigh he rolled over, curled himself into a ball and went back to sleep.

A couple of hours later, sunlight falling across his face with morning now fully broken, Cody languidly stretched himself out on the floor, forgetting for a moment where he was. He subconsciously moved into the warm rays, seeking the heat as if it was another warm body to snuggle into, eyelids beginning to flutter as the incessant warbling of the birds outside the window brought him suddenly and shockingly back to reality, cruelly infiltrating his dreams in which he'd just been having a very nice time with a very nice guy on holiday, in the woods and there was a cabin and a lake, and a... storm...

He sat bolt upright, suddenly knowing exactly where he was, and looked around cautiously for the other occupants of the room, before the earlier events of the morning returned to him. He shook his head, and stretching himself out again on the blankets in the sun he thought about the night before, staring at the ceiling as he wondered what the fuck to do.

Once the rumbling of his belly roused him suitably he found himself in a familiar position out on the porch, just as Ted and Andrew had done before him. The sun-warmed wood warming his bones from the inside raising his spirits somewhat, much as the drenching rain had dampened them the night before. Well, until Andrew came along.

Andrew.

Cody thought about him alot. He liked him.  
Alot.

He was hot.

And his eyes! Oh his eyes... And he was really nice. He could do amazing things with his hands...

And he liked Cody back.

But he wasn't Ted. He loved Ted.

Ted.

Beautiful, amazing, Ted.

He'd lost him forever. Stupid, stubborn, idiot Ted.

Where was he anyway?

He closed his eyes, letting the sun wash over him, his mind re-living the events that transpired in the very same spot the night before. He cringed inwardly, but then the more he thought about it, he realised he felt different. He felt stronger, relieved even, he felt a sense of freedom he hadn't felt in ages. He didn't have to hide anything anymore, he'd been set free.

And despite everything, despite the outcome being the exact opposite to his hearts deepest desires, at least he now knew where he stood, right? It was the pain of not knowing before, that's what held him back, and now he was free, the shackles binding him to his silence had been removed and the outcome, although granted it was killing him, was what he'd expected all along anyway.

So yeah, he was free, albeit disappointed, but it's not like it was an earth shattering surprise that shocked him to his core. And above all, he had actually got something out of it that he never thought he'd see, for those few short minutes, before he'd come to his senses, Ted had been his, and he couldn't be happier.

He smiled to himself, he was free, this was the beginning of the rest of his life.

He wondered what Ted was doing, unaware he was only a few hundred metres away, having rescued his canoe and taken to paddling up and down the now calm and crystal clear waters.  
Cody had no inclination to do anything remotely strenuous yet, he was content to sit and wait, as per Andrew's scrawled instructions, steadily making his way through a breakfast of epic proportions. He was exhausted, yesterday's monumental emotional upheaval taking a huge toll on him, he'd never felt so drained. Like a part of his life had been drained from him. So he sat, sipping his coffee, content with only the sun and spiderman for company, enjoying the morning.

***

As Andrew paddled slowly down the river, the group trailing in various stages behind him, he couldn't help but wonder what sight he'd be met with upon his return to the cabin.  
In a way he hoped to find Cody curled up in Ted's arms, all their problems forgotten but in his heart he knew they wouldn't have resolved a damn thing. He'd already seen how stubborn Ted could be, and it didn't bode well for any kind of reconciliation.

Deep down however, he was cursing himself, his own actions unforgivable, and he hoped he hadn't driven a wedge into the situation, taking it past the point of no return. If only he'd held back, if only he'd been stronger...

He swore under his breath, stuck between his conscience and what his body wanted. But no matter how much he tried to blame himself, he knew the bulk of the damage had been done before he even got there.

That's why he needed to talk to Ted, get the other side of the story, he could only hope he didn't end up making things worse. But he had to try, he had to fix this.

His mind kept flashing back to the conversation, amongst other things, he'd had with Cody the night before. Out there on the porch in the storm, it would've been beautiful, hell, romantic even, if it hadn't been completely on the rebound, and Andrew was fully aware that that's all it was to Cody. He ruefully wondered, that if in another time, another place, things might've been different, and as much as he hated to admit it, even to himself, maybe he even wished that they could be. But it didn't matter anyway, what mattered was the here and now, and he knew he had to do something about it, to fix it.

It was Ted he was the most concerned about right now. He wished he had a chance to talk to him this morning before he left. Cody on the other hand, he was strong. Although he'd naturally be upset for awhile, it was all stuff that had been in his head for ages, so in a way, he was desensitised.

But Ted.  
Andrew just wished he had some inkling of where his head was at. He knew that as much of a non-believer that Cody was, Ted was the opposite, and if truth be told, Andrew was scared to death as to how Ted would react to what he'd done, his own actions possibly horrifying him and upsetting his deeply instilled lifelong beliefs.

Andrew shuddered at the memory of only last year, the young guy who'd tried to kill himself and the kid he'd messed around with, and that hadn't even been a religious camp. It took a strong mind to deal with your own admissions about such delicate issues at such an impressionable age, let alone acting upon them the very first time you even realise.

He knew how much of a mindfuck it could be, and he paddled on, his arms moving in strong, fluid strokes as he picked up the pace, deep in thought, his jaw set, determination strengthening his resolve to do the right thing. Quite what that was, he wasn't exactly sure, but relief flooded through him at the sight of Ted paddling quietly up ahead as he rounded the bend. On his own, yes, but it was a start.

……

Ted looked up at the movement in the distance, seeing Andrew wave out of the corner of his eye. He hesitated, unsure how he should react. He couldn't deny he was annoyed, his tranquillity broken, although naturally he'd been expecting Andrew to return at any moment for the entire past hour. The sight of him made Ted's stomach flip, knowing that he knew, knew something anyway, and although Ted wasn't exactly sure how much, but just the fact that someone else knew...

In a way he was desperate to know what Andrew thought, but he also had no idea how to talk to the man, how to act around him. He was torn between being relieved to see him and regretting his return, one because he was expecting to be instantly kicked straight out, and also, because he hadn't yet mustered up the courage to confront Cody, and now his chance was gone.

Surrounded by the rest of the camp now everything would have to be as normal as possible, and Ted wasn't sure if he could keep it together. He contemplated turning his back as Andrew approached, but his good manners managed to override his embarrassment and he instead turned to face him, his face flushing as his eyes darted about, unsure where to look.

"You managed to get it out of that tree then?"

Ted was somewhat taken aback, "Huh?" He'd actually expected Andrew to be totally confrontational from the outset, and have a go at him for not going outside to talk to him when he'd asked him to earlier.

His face must've betrayed his shock because Andrew continued quickly, "It was well and truly stuck dude, nice one,"

Ted recognised it for what it was, a friendly attempt to put him at ease, and he started to relax a bit. though still expecting the worst. "Er, thanks,"

"No problem," he regarded Ted for a minute, but seeing him obviously flustered, turned to survey the bank.

"I dunno where he is," Ted offered with a sigh, eyes firmly downcast, assuming he was looking for Cody.

Andrew turned to him in confusion, watching as Ted methodically slapped his paddles gently on top of the water, dejected, tapping out a steady pattern, seemingly mesmerised by the succession of tiny splashes. He cut such a forlorn figure, his face betraying his conflicted emotions that Andrew's heart went out to him. He could see Ted was trying desperately to act nonchalant, trying to keep up the facade, an unfazed exterior, but the constant nervous twitch of his rhythmic splashing gave him away.

"You okay?" Andrew ventured, wanting to put him out of his misery.

"Of course, never better," Ted shot back, his eyes briefly darted up to meet Andrew's sceptical gaze, "Why wouldn't I be?"

Andrew shrugged, non-committal, trying to avoid confrontation. "I was only asking."

"No you weren't," Ted's tone accusing, "You were, insinuating things,"

"Insinuating things? What things?"

"That I'm not okay!"

"No I wasn't! Fuck, dude, talk about paranoid! Are you like this all the time? How the hell does Cody put up with you?"

"What?!" Ted was reeling, what the fuck did he mean by that? But before he could deconstruct it in his mind, Andrew spoke again.

"You know it's alright, don't you?"

"What?" Now he was even more confused.

"If you're not okay, it is allowed you know."

"What the fuck are you talking about man?"

"Look, all I'm saying is, is that it's okay. It's okay to be confused, it's okay to have feelings, be scared,"

"Scared? I'm not fucking scared! Of what exactly?!"

Andrew sighed, he really didn't know what he was saying, he was just trying to be nice, but Ted obviously didn't want to know. "I dunno man, of losing him maybe? Dude, I'm not saying you are scared, I'm just saying, man, I dunno, that sometimes things happen that we don't expect, that we're not sure how to deal with, and that sometimes it can be confusing, and maybe that can be scary. And that's okay. It's okay to be confused,"

Ted narrowed his eyes, his stomach doing flips, "What exactly are you trying to get at Andrew?" He had no idea why he was acting so confrontational, it was almost like he was resigned to the fact that he was due his comeuppance and figured he may as well do something to deserve it.

"Ted, look, you're not getting thrown out of camp, if that's what you think, okay?" He saw Ted's eyes widen as he continued, "And if you do ever find that you maybe need to talk about anything, that's what I'm here for, okay?"

"I don't need your fucking pity Andrew! Or your fucking help! Got it? And if you're not going to kick us out, I'd appreciate it if you'd fuck off and leave me alone, and mind your own fucking business,"

Andrew just stared at him, incredulous, "Okay, I fucking will, and you know what, fuck you Ted! But just think about this, if you want him, you might wanna make him aware of the fact before you lose him. The last fucking thing I need is you two moping around the whole fucking week..." he turned his canoe around as fast as it would let him, still muttering angrily to himself, leaving Ted staring after him as he paddled over to where the rest of the group would soon be pulling up to the riverbank, and hauled his canoe out of the water.

Unbeknown to both of them, a pair of sad blue eyes watched the exchange from the top of the path. He stared, eyes unseeing as Andrew came ashore, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth as he tried to sort through the million things they could've been saying that flooded his brain.

Not until Andrew had started up the path did Cody realise he was heading towards him. Caught between a desire to hide and the desperation of needing to know what Ted said, he hesitated a moment before turning hurriedly as Andrew looked up and their eyes locked.

"Cody, wait!" he called softly, breaking into a jog to catch him up.

Cody fought down the urge to run as he heard the footsteps quickening behind him, tensing initially as he felt Andrew's hand come to rest on his shoulder. He slowly relaxed, turning towards him as Andrew squeezed gently, rubbing circles lightly with his thumb.  
Gulping audibly, he couldn't bring himself to meet his eyes, his chest constricting and his pulse quickening at the touch. Taking a deep breath, he didn't know if it was anger or lust consuming him, and he finally looked up.

"Hey," Andrew's voice was soft, the look of concern in his eyes enough to convince Cody that it certainly wasn't anger he felt towards this guy.

"Hey,"

"You okay?"

"Not really."

"Yeah."

"What did you say to him?"

"I just asked if he was okay, if he needed to talk..."

"What you gonna fuck him too now?"

Andrew's face fell at Cody's angry words, coming seemingly from nowhere, "Don't be a fucking jerk man,"

Cody saw the hurt in his eyes and knew he'd gone too far, he didn't even mean it. "I dunno why I said that,"

"I know you're angry dude, I know it's a fucked up time for you. The last fucking thing I wanna do is make it worse."

"I know. You're the only thing making it better right now. You made it alot better last night,"

Andrew's breath hitched, his heart hammering in his chest as their eyes locked. Cody peered up at him shyly through his lashes, his anger of a moment ago gone, and it was just a confused kid standing in front of him again. A confused kid who was hot as hell...

Andrew shook his head, as though to empty it of thoughts and memories threatening to fill it, to cloud his judgement, because kid was the operative word here. And although Cody was only a few years younger than him and they shared a definite connection, Andrew's role in this first and foremost was that of a counsellor, and he had to remember that.

He could get in some serious trouble if any of this got out.

His hand dropped from Cody's shoulder as though burned, a shadow crossing the bright blue eyes that followed the movement in disappointment. Andrew stopped, turning Cody towards him, trailing one finger gently down in a line from his brow to jaw, running it slowly over his lips, catching himself staring again as he saw Cody's eyelids fluttering shut.

"Look, you know I like you, and if things don't work out with Ted, then I'd love it if you gave me a call when we get out of this place," he paused as Cody smiled up at him, a warm genuine smile that melted his heart as he prepared to break it himself with his next words, "But you've invested far too much time and effort into what you have with Ted to just give up and throw all that away." He bit his lip, watching the look of scorn begin to form across Cody's features.

"I don't have anything with him! He made that perfectly fucking clear."

"Dude, you gotta try, you don't know for sure how Ted feels, do you?"

"I got a pretty good fucking idea when he said 'that wasn't supposed to happen'."

"Well, maybe, but at the end of the day, you two have a lifetime of friendship and you don't wanna lose that dude. Just give him some time."

"He doesn't wanna know man!"

"Look Cody I saw him when he thought something had happened to you, and I saw him when you appeared from behind that tree, he was fucking beside himself with relief, and no matter what the both of you think right now, what happened was because you both wanted it, regardless of whether it was because both of you went into that cabin driven by emotion, fuelled by lust, whatever, it's besides the point, 'cos both of those things come from the same place," he picked up Cody's hand and placed it over his heart, "So you can't just drop it and act like nothing happened and pretend you don't care."

"I know." Cody nodded, his eyes wide at Andrew's words, "But you don't understand, he kept trying to tell me to stop, he... I wouldn't let him speak... I didn't want him to say it," he lowered his gaze, before finishing in a voice so low Andrew could hardly make it out,  
"I wouldn't let him stop me, I made him do it."

Andrew stared at him for a moment, contemplating his next choice of words, "Cody, you might've initiated things, but he was able to, you know, follow it through all on his own, you know what I mean? You can't force a cock to get hard unless it wants to, you hear me? He wanted you. And I'm willing to bet he still does, maybe he just hasn't realised it yet is all, that's why he's acting like such a jackass." He sighed, hoping he was right, "Or maybe he's acting like that 'cos he's scared, confused, and he thinks he hurt you, thinks he's lost you, when really, he's only just found you. You've gotta remember Codes, he's new to all this, whereas you've known for years. You probably blew his fucking mind dude, and that takes some getting used to, especially if you've spent your whole life being told it's wrong."

Cody nodded slowly, looking at him in wonder. "Yeah maybe. Man, I wish I'd met you years ago. So, what do I do now then?"

Andrew shrugged, "I dunno really man. Give him time. He needs to think. And you need to talk."

Cody huffed sarcastically, "Yeah sure, that'll be easy, won't be awkward much huh?"

"Well, we've got that banquet tonight, there'll be dancing and shit too, and tomorrow is that stupid play they put on, so I'm sure there'll be a chance, you should be able to manage something,"

"I don't wanna like rush it, make him feel like I'm backing him into a corner, you know? No pressure or anything,"

"Well if it doesn't happen, it's best not to force it. Maybe. I dunno. Maybe it is best to force the issue. Just go with it man, see what happens."

"Okay," Cody nodded, hesitating, "And dude, you know, thanks,"

Andrew just smiled sadly at him, clapping him on the back, squeezing his shoulder again. His hand lingered a moment as he caressed him gently, before he turned and headed back towards the river.

***

After an almighty feed, the entire camp prepared to make their way to the next stop, many miles ahead, and however many more hours off schedule, the Crow Wing river accommodating them without the turbulence of yesterday, to everyone's relief. But the turbulence in Ted's mind was yet to abate, so he made himself busy helping on the bank as the group started taking to the water. Some of the younger girls in particular seemed to need alot of his help and he hung back, watching Cody with Andrew up ahead, teaching the guys how to do eskimo rolls.

How the fuck did Cody even know how to do that anyway?  
Ted was beginning to realise that perhaps there was alot about Cody that he didn't know, and had never even thought to ask before, he'd always just taken him for granted, at face value, never thinking to probe below the surface to realise that there was a very complex and interesting person under there.

In his mind, until yesterday, Cody had still just been a kid to him, the same kid he'd always known, the one he'd run around collecting ninja turtles and mighty morphine power rangers with.

But now things were different, Cody was different, he was all grown up, only Ted had just never noticed before, and he found himself wondering, question after question popping up in his mind. He missed his company, their easy banter, and the fact that now he may never get another chance to ask any of these new questions, wasn't lost on him.

Andrew's words from earlier stuck fast in his mind, _'make him aware of the fact, before you lose him for good',_ and he wanted to, he really did, but not here, bible camp really was not the most appropriate place for sexual awakening, but if he waited much longer, it might be too late.

He watched Andrew with interest, they looked as thick as thieves, and Ted couldn't help but wonder...  
_...no, don't even go there Ted,_ he chastised himself, his jealousy rising to the surface all too easily.

He nodded to himself, even if someone else did come into Cody's life, even if it was Andrew, Ted had determined that he only had himself to blame. He'd pushed Cody away, unwittingly, by accident, somehow. He didn't know what he'd even said that had caused that look to mar Cody's face, caused that tear to fall, he didn't even know how, he just knew that he had.

The cinema screen in his brain had it set to repeat, he saw it flickering through his vision again and again, like a crackly scene in an old black and white movie, replayed over and over, haunting him, taunting him, the pain on that beautiful face. In his mind it was all his fault and if Cody found someone else to fuck the pain away, so be it, Ted would just have to deal. Until he could make it right.

He finished loading up and pushed off from the bank, wishing he had the guts to just head on up there and join in all the boisterous larking about as if he didn't have a care in the world. But he didn't think he even knew how, he didn't have the capacity to just carry on as if everything was normal, because he didn't know how he'd be received. He already felt like everyone was looking at him, like everyone knew. The rational part of his brain was fully aware that no one knew, yet the scorn he felt for himself was reflected back at him in everyone else's eyes, so he immersed himself in charitable deeds, to re-climb the metaphorical rungs he'd slipped.

_Do the right thing... do the right thing... _

He looked ahead, seeing Cody emerge from the water, glistening, innocent, free, laughing as everyone cheered him on, Andrew's hand clapping him on the shoulder, the warm friendly smile he received in return. Ted wanted that, all of it, to be a part of it. Instead he settled in at the back of the group, only fear and the weight of the world on his shoulders for company.

……..

Andrew watched closely as every time Cody splashed through the surface of the water, he pointedly did not look to see if Ted was watching him. And Ted, well Andrew could see he was also doing his best to casually not stare at Cody's antics, whenever he remembered to tear his eyes away that was, or was forced to chuckle politely at the inane chatter of the girls he was suddenly surrounded by.

By the time they got to the next camp, several hours later and even more miles, Cody had a multitude of new friends and a good dozen pairs of female eyes following his every move, which he, in typical fashion, remained blissfully unaware of. All he cared about was Ted and his whereabouts, and coming up with a plan, a way to break the ice.

As they made their way towards the campsite it suddenly dawned on Cody that he might be forced into an opportunity sooner than he'd anticipated. Having only a two-man tent between them, and it currently being in Ted's possession, Cody wasn't exactly sure where he'd end up sleeping that night. Andrew seemed to have come to the same realisation. He promptly volunteered Cody to help him put up his own tent, so he could then join him in their rota'd kitchen duties, trying to be not-so-noticeably absent, and thus hopefully avoid any awkward questions for Ted later when he had to put their tent up on his own.

An hour later, Cody found himself determined to throw himself into his new kitchen tasks with gusto, eternally grateful he had the chance to immerse himself in something. Anything that would stop his mind from dwelling on the events that had just transpired before Andrew dragged him away, deflated and torn.

Ted had appeared, coming up from the river with his own personal female entourage, and carrying, not just his own gear but a soaking wet girl as well. A girl with her arms flung around Ted's neck. A girl with very short shorts on, and long floaty blonde hair, straggly and plastered down over her head at this moment in time yes, but Cody knew it'd be floaty and bouncy and shiny in its normal state. She had pouty lips and a very wet t-shirt, a very wet t-shirt clinging very wetly and tightly to her very perky, and very wet, budding cleavage.

This girl had boobs, and they were in Ted's face.

Very visible, round, heaving bosoms, perfectly showcased by her very visibly wet white t-shirt and bright red bathing suit combination. And they were very visible to Ted from his vantage point, and Ted had seen them. He was looking at them right now. In fact he hadn't stopped looking at them the whole time Cody and his narrowed eyes had watched them approach.

Cody had no idea what happened, but what he did know, what he saw with his own two boggling eyes, was said girl place an overly brazen kiss on his cheek, and Ted look extremely smug about it indeed, as he placed her gently back down on the ground.

The last thing Cody saw as Andrew dragged him away, was Ted glance over in his direction, his grin broadening somewhat, and the last thing Cody heard, was a loud declaration that Ted was her hero, and such a true gentleman, and would he mind awfully having the first dance with her tonight at the feast?

Andrew grabbed Cody's bag as they walked away, and bundled him into the shower block at the back of the kitchen.  
"Okay Codes," he said, sounding like he meant business, not even acknowledging what they'd just seen, "You go get ready, this is the night to make a big impression, the only time we get to dress up, and the only night with a shower, so make the most of it while the others are still putting their tents up, okay?"

His hand trailed down from where he'd been gripping his shoulder as Cody didn't respond, staring at a fascinating spot on the ground, mute, glum. Entwining their fingers together, he gently squeezed his hand, rubbing a circle on his palm with his thumb.

"Hey, you're gonna knock him dead man, go on, make him see what he's missing. I'll be in the kitchen, come find me, we'll keep you occupied somehow so you can make a big entrance later, fashionably late of course. He'll have been wondering where the hell you got to already, so when he finally sees you, he won't know what hit him."

Cody just nodded sadly, squeezing Andrew's hand gently in return. But as he turned to go, Cody pulled him back, wrapping his arms around his neck and holding him close for a minute, breathing deeply into the crook of his neck as he composed himself.

"Thanks," he whispered, nuzzling his face softly against Andrew's skin for the briefest of seconds, before placing a resolute kiss sweetly on his lips, leaving him reeling, as he disappeared inside.

Staring after him, Andrew had to use every bit of his resolve to resist the all-encompassing urge to follow him in there, berating himself for his inability to keep the all to willing participant in his trousers at bay. His mind idly wandered as he drifted off, imagining Cody in there, alone, naked, the scalding needles drilling into his skin, cascading down his back and running in rivulets down the well defined muscles of his chest, much as the spray from the rain had done the night before.

Andrew groaned at the memory of his lips against that searing skin, svelte and sinewy, begging to be touched, and the scorching heat of Cody's mouth surrounding him. His cock twitched, and he willed it down, no way he could go waltzing into the kitchen waving it around in front of him like a beacon, and his hand dropped lower, slowly down, to ghost across the already prominent bulge beneath the parachute material of his shorts. The delicious roughness against the sensitive skin caused another involuntary moan to pass his lips, and his body weight to now press firmly against the wall.

With one hand lying flat against the cold tiles, and the other beginning to lightly run up and down, stroking himself slowly through the material, he was surprised to find another hand slipping under his waistband, and his lips captured once more in heated passion. As his eyes flew open at the touch, Cody smiled, closing his hand around the solid shaft and wordlessly leading him into the rapidly steaming stalls in the back.

………..

Andrew paused with a faraway look on his face as his eye raked over the fine form in front of him. Cody had just walked out of the kitchen for the first time all evening, narrowly, yet accidentally on purpose avoiding the worship experience. He watched him instantly clock Ted, sitting way at the back, his bible sitting closed on his knee and his chin propped up in his hand as if deep in thought, or bored.

He saw the look cross Cody's face as he took it all in and dismissed the latter with a snort, pointedly ignoring Ted as he looked up instead to meet Andrew's eye.

As he headed straight over to where he was sorting out a row of trestle tables, Andrew tried desperately to will his mind back to the task at hand. He passed Cody the tablecloths, getting him to deck them all out with place settings, and headed off to get the chairs and sort out the rest of his group.

A few minutes later, as everyone else headed off to their individual prayer sessions, Andrew allocated dinner duties and came back with Ted, staggering under a pile of chairs, before sending him off to help get the bonfire started.

"Did he see me?!" Cody glanced around, watching him go, whispering out the side of his mouth as soon as Ted was out of earshot.

"Of course he fucking did, he could hardly miss you, posing like that," His eyes roamed appreciatively over Cody again, his black shirt setting off the deep blue of his eyes against his sunkissed skin, his dark jeans tightening over his firm buttocks as he purposely bent forward again to stretch across the table, smirking at Andrew's double take.

"What, like this?"

"Exactly like that, fucking tease," he growled low in his throat on his way past, lightly brushing against him, "He can't keep his eyes off you and you know it."

"Really?"

"Yeah,"

"Neither can you,"

"I know, so quit it with that shit,"

"I thought you liked it?"

"I do, that's the problem,"

Cody grinned at him, "Good, I want you to like it,"

"What if Ted sees?"

"Maybe I want him to see..."

"And everyone else too?" Andrew rounded on him, impassioned, "Fuck Cody, our asses will be chucked outta here pronto dude, and I'll not only get the sack, I'll get thrown in fucking jail!"

The realisation seemed to suddenly just hit him, "Fuck... you look so much older... man, I have to keep reminding myself... Wrestling is doing you good Cody, real good. Don't stop doing whatever it is that you're doing..." he drifted off again as his eyes recalled what was under his shirt, then shaking himself he continued, "But besides all that, Ted already hates me enough as it is, don't give him any more reason..."

Cody's face fell at Andrew's words, hissed out the side of his mouth. "I'm sorry, I don't wanna get you in trouble man, I just meant..."

"I know what you meant Cody, it's cool, just be careful, you're in the company of people who'd happily lock us up and throw away the key soon as look at us."

Cody nodded, resisting the urge to roll his eyes, "Most of these kids are so fucking wholesome they're probably too naive to recognise it even if it's right in front of their face."

"Ha. You wish. You'd be surprised. We've had kids here before go around actually looking for shit that doesn't conform with their beliefs. Alot of them thrive off telling other people why they're wrong. I'm sure these guys all have their little certificates at home to go with their purity rings, and the sad thing is, they expect the rest of us not to judge them and respect their right to choice, yet don't offer us the same in return. They'd be the first to condemn us if they found out."

"We're all fucked aren't we?"

Andrew laughed, "Yeah, well, I guess we'll all find out who was right and who was wrong when we kick the bucket dude."

"Yeah, which will be sooner rather than later if they ever find out about us."

"I know."

Cody sighed inwardly, kicking the nearest chair and scuffing his foot on the ground, "I just can't believe they put so much stock in a fucking book, especially _that_ book, you know? Can't they even think for themselves?"

"They're not all like that, they're good kids Cody, for the most part anyway..." A roar went up over by the fire, "Like Ted," he finished meaningfully.

At that Cody looked up, crestfallen, as his eyes sought him out, watching him longingly as he whooped with the other guys at the first flames rising dramatically into the air.

"Do you think he'll ever change his mind?" he asked quietly.

"He'll come round dude, how could he not?" Andrew nudged him in the ribs with a smirk, Cody leaning into him as he laughed, "I mean, look at you, you're fucking gorgeous,"

"Maybe I should just forget about Ted and concentrate on you, if you keep saying stuff like that to me..."

"Cody..."

"What?"

Andrew took a deep breath as he composed himself for a moment, "Don't give up on him, give him time, he just needs time..."

"I'll give him all the fucking time in the world if I thought it'd make any difference,"

"It will."

"Not until hell freezes over!" he laughed, Andrew rolling his eyes as he unstacked the last chair, "Or at least I get him away from the clutches of that fucking book. I'm gonna rip it up. I swear."

"You gotta give him a chance to get used to the idea,"

"Why are you so nice?" Cody fiddled with the edge of the tablecloth, pulling it so it was just right as he laid down the last fork, before turning to lean against the table to face him, "You're so smart, and thoughtful, and funny, I really like you Andrew,"

Andrew stood stock still, facing the other way, paused in his final adjustments before he stopped, straightening up he shook himself, murmuring, "I like you too,"

"Then why are you helping me?"

"It's what's right." Andrew shrugged, turning to him, eyes still downcast, "It's what you want. And I want you to be happy,"

"_You_ make me happy."

"Cody..."

Their eyes locked, Cody looking up at him through his lashes.

"Can I stay in your tent tonight?"

*******


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Ok, now I'm getting complaints about the title, which is the very reason I changed it in the first place. Can't win. What do I do? either way I cop shit. And the thing is, most of the people complaining aren't even reading the actual story. It's a NICE story. :(**

**A/N: This story was originally written as a REQUEST in a meme over at Live Journal. I often partake in the prompts and challenges set in the various communities. And the very particular inspiration was a real life postcard in the book 'POST SECRETS', where people can send in anonymous postcards saying whatever their deepest darkest secrets are and they get published, there's a website too. Anyway, the postcard in question specifically said "I had gay sex at bible camp... 3 times!" so this became the request and title of the fic, to be specifically applied to the Codiasi pairing, due to Ted DiBiase's real life religious leanings. ****However when I published it here, due to the strict ratings code, I was informed it was an inappropriate title and should be toned down. So I did. I called it 'Awakening' instead. Yet that caused all sorts of problems because it seems people are unable to read summaries, and I got alot of messages from people saying they were offended etc. Um, you're reading slash... which it clearly states... and the bible camp part was clearly mentioned in the summary... yet still I got complaints. It's just a coming of age story, it's not anything offensive to anyone, it just outlines the particular dilemmas that could be experienced by teenagers trying to come to terms with their sexuality in an environment/upbringing that doesn't necessarily accommodate them. A very real thing that goes on all the time. So anyway, I changed the summary to be more explicit so people would realise. But no, people seem to like skipping summaries... so I figured to hell with it I'll just put it back to its real title 'I Had Gay Sex At Bible Camp... 3 Times'. If people can't figure out from that what this is about then that is not my problem. I'm sick of apologising. It's a nice story, it's about love. If you're willingly reading slash then get over it. So anyway in the midst of updating the title my pc got a virus and I somehow lost the whole post (along with various other things like my newest fic too) so I've had to re-upload it, which I figured I'd do a chapter at a time like I originally did. Again I don't see why people feel the need to inform me of this either, because um, yes, I know it had a different name, I know I already published it. I also know WHY I changed the name and I also know all about the endless shit I copped cos of this fic. If you don't like it you don't have to read it. And guess what, since I changed the name back to its more explicit title, it's had over double the hits it _ever had_ before in just the few days it's been changed. **

*******************

Ted laughed heartily as he was spun around the dance floor for the umpteenth time. he had no idea what he was doing, but he was having a whale of a time. The food had been excellent, and everyone was in high spirits, all dressed up and showing off. He had been in constant demand with a string of eager girls all over him all night, vying for his attention and his abilities, or lack thereof, on the dancefloor.

But there was only one person whose attention he craved, and he was having his own fun over by the bonfire, toasting marshmallows and feeding them to his own posse of women. And Andrew. Well, he was there because it was his turn to supervise the fire, but Ted was under no illusions that Cody was only there because Andrew was.

As the song finished, his hands now free from waving in the air like you just don't care, he politely declined another upbeat number, pleading exhaustion, miming that he was going for a drink.

As he reached the makeshift bar, he contemplated heading over to the fire, see what was going down, attempt to ingratiate himself back into Cody's good books.

Before his sudden burst of courage deserted him he grabbed a bag of marshmallows and headed over, squeezing himself into the huddle and reaching for a skewer as he popped open his bag.

"Teddy!" he was met with an ear piercing screech as the capsized girl from earlier targeted in on him.

_'Fuck,'_ he thought to himself, he'd been so focussed on Cody he hadn't even noticed her, but he smiled in her direction, placing his marshmallows over the flames as he tried to mask his dismay. He'd never get a chance to talk to Cody if she was there, demanding his attention as though he was her prized possession. He saw Andrew pull a face at him in sympathy, and Cody shaking his head, brow furrowed, she'd obviously been doing their collective heads in for awhile.

"I hear you're quite the hero Ted," Cody offered, a hint of something Ted couldn't quite place lacing his voice,

"Yeah, nice one man," he heard Andrew continue, clapping him on the back, but Ted couldn't take his eyes off of Cody, it was the first time he'd spoken to him since, well, since that fitful night, the night he walked away.

"You're on fire," Cody said suddenly, his eyes burning into Ted's, with every bit of intensity as the first time it had meant something.

"Huh?" Ted didn't know what he meant, he was too caught up in the moment, lost in a sea of blue shining in the firelight.

"Your marshmallow," Cody nodded his head, "It's burning,"

Ted was roused as if he was on fire himself as he realised, "Shit!" he jumped, shaking his stick around madly trying to put it out, his cheeks burning with embarrassment as laughter rang out around him for a moment before conversations continued, and Cody hid a wry smile, turning away.

_Shit. Shit fucking fuckity fuck. _

He cursed under his breath as he inspected the molten lump at the end, wondering whether it'd be edible.

"Give it here," Cody said, reaching over and plucking it off with his fingers, breaking it apart to see if it was beyond saving, and popping half in his mouth. "Mm, it's good," he said, his eyes closing for a moment as he licked his lips, then his finger enticingly, "Want some?"

Ted was mesmerised, watching it disappear between those succulent lips, hardly registering Cody's question until he shrugged and put it in his own mouth at Ted's lack of response.

_Damn_...

He could've sworn he heard the word echo from beside him as Andrew shook his head and looked away, his own brain repeating it a few times for good measure.

When did Cody get so, so _damn_, and his eyes.. his eyes were so, blue, so.. intense? Yeah, intense.. and his, _everything_, was so, so.. alluring? Was that the right word? Ted was surprised to find he wanted to think _hot_, and when _did_ Cody get so fucking hot anyway?

And he looked amazing tonight, Ted was sure he'd never seen him in that shirt before, he'd remember, surely... But those thoughts were better left for later, when he was alone.

He shook himself, mentally clearing the image of that marshmallow, and the way it disappeared, from his mind, fully aware he'd probably been sitting there gawping like a slack jawed yokel, as Cody looked at him strangely and continued the conversation he'd been having before Ted arrived.

Turning back to the fire, he figured he'd try again, placing a few more mallows over the flames, and asking the girl next to him if she was okay after her foray into the waters earlier on. His concern earned him an enormous smile and inclusion into the circle. The conversation was soon flowing around him and he started to relax, laughing and joking, and being happy simply with the few words exchanged and the close proximity to Cody, it was a start, it was something.

It was better than nothing.

He then had to contend with a good half hour of being questioned to death by his new number one fan, "I'm Kristen, gosh where are my manners, I can't believe I never even introduced myself!"

As she peppered her endless diatribe with "Don't you think so Ted?" and "What do you think about that Ted?" to the point where he almost regretted saving her from her own stupidity in the canoe earlier on. But she was harmless enough, and he managed to keep from burning anything else and keep one eye on Cody all at the same time. He didn't pick up every bit of conversation he was having, but just hearing his voice, knowing he was there, it was a comforting thought.

He'd missed him.

He just wished he'd get an opportunity to tell him somehow.

Everything seemed to be going swimmingly, until the conversation turned to wrestling. Cody had gone off a few minutes before, Ted wasn't sure where, and two of the guys were scrabbling for the last marshmallow when one of them declared the other would be getting rock bottomed unless he handed it over. This led to someone declaring wrestling to be the biggest load of trash they'd ever seen. "It's so gay," he added, to which cries of discontent rang out from amongst the boys.

"No it's not, it's awesome!"

"All wrestlers must be fags, grabbing each other half naked,"

"I don't mean gay in the faggot sense, well except for that one gold faggot," he did the big intake of breath to make his point, "I just meant like, it's shit,"

Ted froze as the words infiltrated his brain from across the other side of the fire, did he really just hear what he thought he'd heard? He was used to copping shit from non fans, but this was different, this was personal. He sat still, said nothing, keeping schtum, hoping Cody didn't come back any time soon.

A girl further down squealed suddenly, "Ewwwww, I know who you mean! Yeah like ohmygod how can they let someone like that be on tv? I mean, it's disgusting! He should be put in jail!"

There was a chorus of murmured assent around the group.

"Isn't he married? To that chick he comes out with, the one that smokes those long cigarettes!" someone else piped up,

"That's a man dressed up as a woman! My dad told me no real woman has tits like that!"

"Ewww! They should both get their dicks chopped off!"

"It's not her anyway! That's just a gimmick you dumb asshole, it's not real you know!" Someone else's two cents worth resulted in a chorus of laughter.

"No it's not you liar, it's a real woman,"

"Dreamin buddy,"

"Well whatever it is, Goldust and his, _thing_, they both sound like sick freaks to me! Don't you think so Ted?"

"Oh yeah, sure," he muttered hesitantly, all eyes upon him, before the next person spoke up.

As the words left his mouth he couldn't stop his own eyes darting around guiltily, and his blood ran cold as they landed on Cody, arms full of marshmallows, who'd stopped mid-step and was still, staring, at Ted, then at the guy currently mouthing off about his brother.

Nobody knew who they were here, there was no need to bring it up now, and Ted was clueless as to how Cody would react.

As his eyes locked with Ted's, Cody reeled, wild eyed he stared down at him for reassurance, some kind of affirmation. He'd heard what Ted said, Ted just knew it. He was literally at a loss for words, mouth opening and closing like a goldfish as he tried desperately to say something, the right thing.

With a small cry of frustration Cody turned and left, giggling and guffaws breaking out as he kicked a chair, sending it flying, leaving everyone staring after him.

"What's his problem man?" After a unanimous shrug, an cacophony of noise started up again as various conversations continued, everyone forgetting all about the strange incident.

Andrew and Ted stared after him, one without a clue what was wrong, and the other knowing he was the cause of it. As Andrew turned to look at him, halfway through stoking the bonfire, Ted still had no words to explain himself.

"What the fuck did you say to him this time?" he hissed in his ear, to which Ted had no response, he could only stare back at him, shaking his head,

"I didn't mean it..."

Andrew thrust the poker into his hand as he turned, "I fucking turn my back for one fucking second man..." Hurriedly stopping to get one of the other counsellors to take over for him, he went to find Cody.

Ted sat, staring into the fire, the flames consuming him, dancing in his eyes, as the flame in his heart went out. Snuffed it, fizzled away, he'd really gone and done it this time. Laughter rang out all around him at something unrelated and irrelevant.

Everything was irrelevant now, nothing else mattered.

He got up, determined to fix things with Cody once and for all, to reignite the burning passion he'd introduced him to, he'd shared with him, he'd barely had a taste before it was snatched away, and he wanted some more.

He watched from the shadows as Cody stood in the middle of a sea of tents. He had his hands in his pockets, silently staring at the ground, kicking at it aimlessly every now and then, then flinging his head back to stare at the night sky. Ted heard him sigh, a gut wrenching, heart breaking sound, before releasing a string of expletives surely capable of bringing a blush to the cheeks of a sailor.

Ted was seconds away from making an attempt at conversation, keeping out of sight as he mustered up the courage to approach, trying to find the right words. But just as he was about to take that first tentative step, something stopped him dead in his tracks. It was Andrew, slowly making his way towards him.

'_No,'_ Ted thought, '_no,no, no, not now, it's my turn, I was here first, he was mine first...' _

He wanted to intercept, stop him from getting there first, tell him to go away, but before he could take the first step, the little angel on his shoulder whispered in his ear that he was too late, he'd procrastinated too long, '_leave them be, it's all your fault, he won't want to see you anyway, after what you said'_, and if that's what the angel was saying, he didn't even want to know what his inner devil on the other shoulder would add to that.

But he couldn't bring himself to turn away, he was rooted to the spot as Andrew approached and Cody turned towards the sound of his soft call.

"Hey you," There was no mistaking the affection in his voice, and Ted almost closed his eyes in defeat and curled up in a ball there and then as Cody so readily walked towards him.

"Hey,"

"I was looking for you everywhere,"

"I'm here," They stood facing each other, talking quietly, and Ted strained to hear every word, holding his breath, they looked so beautiful together in the moonlight.

"I know," Andrew chuckled, "You okay?"

It was fairly obvious he wasn't, and Ted broke a little more at the way he hung his head at the question, knowing how much he was hurting, his own words being the arrows that pierced his heart one by one as he said them so flippantly, just to stay in good stead with a bunch of people he didn't even care about, at the expense of the one he loved the most.

"I knew it'd be you,"

"What do you mean?"

"Who'd come after me. It should've been him. I thought he might at least say sorry, but I guess now I know how he really feels. You don't even know what they were saying, yet you're still here."

"Do you want me to go?"

But it was the way Cody shook his head, and closed the gap between them, pressing his lips to Andrew's so calmly, so easily, so hungrily, like he needed him. It was obvious he wanted him. Ted had known he wanted him from the first moment they'd locked eyes on each other at registration.

_'That should be me,' _Ted whispered, as Andrew's arms came up to encircle him, cupping the back of his head, deepening the kiss as Cody pulled him closer, pressing their bodies firmly together, before breaking away, breathless, leading him by the hand through the folds of material, into the darkness of the waiting tent. The moans were almost instantaneous as they disappeared, Ted dying a little more inside at the sounds from within, as the sound of skin on skin reached his ears.

Despite his own conclusion earlier that this was what he expected, what he deserved, that he knew it would happen, it was easier said than done, to accept it. Just as he'd made a final decision, so typical, after his brain constantly taking him back and forth, to and fro, weighing up pros and cons left right and centre about what he wanted to do with the rest of his life, he'd finally settled on it, his mind was made, and it was slammed back in his face. Someone surely must be trying to tell him something, maybe the safe bet was the right one after all, at least he wouldn't keep on getting hurt that way, at least he wouldn't have to feel this much pain.

So he turned, he fled, it was over. He'd lost him. Finito. The end. Time to give up. No point in even trying any more when it was obvious Cody had made his choice. The better man had won.

*****

The next couple of days passed in a whirl of activity, as everyone worked through the exhaustion and tried to catch up on the time they'd lost from the storm. Eventually, they reached the camp at Luther Crest, their final destination, and things began to wind down. They had an amazing day of waterskiing under Andrew's instruction, which Ted found he thoroughly enjoyed despite himself, he was good at it he discovered, and he knew he looked good out there, and he couldn't help but begrudgingly admit that Andrew was a pretty awesome teacher.

After that, they suffered through the so called 'musical production' put on by the staff there. It was a cleaned up, condensed whip through of the songs in an almost reverse version of Grease, where, much to everyone's amusement, instead of getting all glammed up at the end, a sombre Sandra Dee sings of shaping up, 'cos she found her man, and her heart was set on God, to John Travolta's 'God's the one that I want, he's the one that I want, oooh ooh oooh honey, God's the one I need, oh yes indeeeeed'.

Ted found it utterly hilarious, but he could see the look of abject horror and distaste on Cody's face throughout, from all the way across the room, and had to stifle his chuckle at Andrew's poker face as he got up and left the room to hide his laughter, Cody staring after him mortified at having to remain behind.

Ted missed him so much, his classic facial expressions, how animated he got when he liked something, and how vocal he was when he didn't, it was the things he said, his little nuances that always managed to have Ted cracking up. He watched him from afar, wondering what would happen tomorrow, when they had to go home together.

To Ted's house.

And stay there, together.

In Ted's room.

For two more days.

Together.

He picked up his bible with a sigh as he stood, he could've sworn he felt Cody's eyes on him, but when his eyes flicked discretely to find him again, he was filing out with everyone else, hands in his pockets. Ted turned, heading out himself, his eyes fixed pointedly on Cody's retreating back, widening rapidly as they suddenly met their target, Cody looking back directly at him as he reached the door, smiling sadly before walking through.

Needless to say, he didn't pay a single bit of attention during worship experience.

But it was after that, that the weird thing happened. Ted was minding his own business during the private prayer time, staring blankly at the Book of Revelations. The opening line of the second vision was running repeatedly around his head, but it was a door opening in his mind instead of the sky, as he suddenly found Andrew sitting next to him. He looked at him in surprise.

"What the fuck do you want?"

"Dude, you gotta talk to him, when you go home,"

Ted wasn't sure what exactly was going on here, "What?"

"Please, this is killing him, just tell him you're sorry, if he's worth it, and you know he is, you can't just give up,"

Ted was dumbfounded, did Andrew really think he had a chance? "Yeah, he is worth it, I do know he is, and so do you by the sound of you last night. So why are you doing this?"

Andrew didn't even flinch, "Because it'll make him happy,"

"You seem to be doing a pretty good job of that yourself," Ted couldn't help the way it came out as a growl and his eyes narrowed accusingly.

Andrew just shrugged as he got up, "Yeah, but I'm not you." he said simply, walking away without a backwards glance, leaving Ted floundering in his wake.

Ted just sat there, the door in his mind wide open now and beckoning him in, and he dared to hope, dared to dream, standing on the threshold in trepidation, the possibilities therein seemingly endless all of a sudden. He had no idea how long he sat there, lost in glorious realms of fantasy until roused by the rumble in his belly, and the aroma of possibility in the air mixed with the scent of his dinner, a newly discovered hunger not just for his food, but for life, one he hoped he had the guts to live this time.

He stood up, a purpose in his stride and determination to make amends before the door slammed shut for good.

The next morning, that was it. After they packed up, it was on the bus back to Camp Emmaus and then, home.

Home to Cody.

***********

All too soon for Cody they found themselves waiting to board the final bus, and he stared up at the entrance sign, just as he'd done when he was waiting for his bags that very first day. He could hardly believe how he'd practically been dragged here kicking and screaming, all to spend some time with Ted, yet here he was now not wanting to leave, and that had nothing to do with Ted whatsoever.

So much had happened in such a short time, those few short days shaping his life, he could just feel it. He felt like he'd lived a lifetime of experience and emotion since he'd arrived here, and he'd take it away with him to be put to good use. A new and improved Cody, not so hung up on impossible dreams.

He felt a gentle squeeze on his shoulder and a not so slight tug in his heart as he turned to stare once more into those gentle green eyes that had captivated him so completely the first moment he saw them.

They'd said their goodbyes last night, under cover of dark in the quiet of Andrew's tent, making promises of keeping contact and whispered words of comfort and thanks. Cody would be eternally grateful to Andrew for everything he'd done for him, and he didn't plan on giving him up just like that, but all good things must come to an end. For the time being at least.  
The next chapter had barely begun.

"I'm gonna miss you," he breathed, the words tumbling out desperately, barely registering on the air but Andrew heard him, nodding, murmuring something similar and squeezing slightly again, his other hand coming up to slap him on the other shoulder as he gave him a sturdy man hug.

They stood together in silence as Ted walked up, nodding at them both, making bizarre eye contact with Andrew that Cody didn't understand, and then the coach was approaching, the minutes running out.

"Have you forgiven him yet?"

"No,"

"If it's one thing they want you to take away from this place, it's forgiveness, isn't that one of the main things they've been preaching about all week?"

Cody laughed, "I wouldn't know, I somehow managed to avoid most of that, being the good little teacher's pet that I am," he smirked, bumping into him sideways with his shoulder.

Andrew grinned at that, "You certainly are." His smile faded a little as his next words left him, their shoulders still firmly pressing together, grazing, then just bumping slightly into each other again as if they didn't want to be separated, "Go on, off you go, go get him, rip that bible from him like you said you would," He pushed Cody forward slightly, the final campers making their way on board.

Cody stared at him for a minute, biting his lip, committing every inch of him to memory, "See ya," he said sadly, before hesitantly turning to climb on the bus.

"See ya baby," Andrew whispered, "Good luck,"

***************

"I'm joining the ministry,"

"I know," Cody turned to look at him, "You're always saying you're gonna do it, it was bound to happen eventually,"

He turned back to his bag, dumped unceremoniously on the floor just inside the door of Ted's room, hunting for some clean clothes so he could go and have a shower, get changed, and crawl into bed and die. He was exhausted, and he was at the end of his tether. It had been a long arduous journey back to Ted's parents house, and whilst Ted had slept through most of it as usual, Cody had stayed awake, dwelling on everything, wondering what was going to happen next.

They'd been home an hour at most, and after the obligatory feed, had been bundled off to bed, no complaints from either party, it had been torture for Cody trying to keep his unhappiness off his face. He'd always had a problem with wearing his emotions on his sleeve.

Cody was getting ready, he'd been watching Ted engrossed in his bible, flicking through, almost like he was looking for answers, he was definitely looking for something, and that was when he suddenly made his big announcement. Now he sat there, as if he was waiting for Cody to say something else.

"What?"

"What are you thinking?"

"What am I thinking Ted?"

"Yeah, you'd normally have a barrage of abuse for me, and I, I just want you to understand…"

Cody spun back around, and Ted had never seen him look so angry, he was devastated, as far as he was concerned, it was the final nail in the coffin, his last chance going down the pan, "Oh I understand alright, and you wanna know what I'm thinking huh Ted? I'm thinking that I don't fucking give a shit."

"Cody, please…"

"It's your life to do with whatever the fuck you want Ted, go ahead and ruin it, see if I care."

He paused, finishing what he'd been doing in his bag and sat back on his heels, leaning against the wall as he took a deep breath, "Please don't do it Teddy,"

Ted sat there, unable to meet Cody's pleading eyes, he knew the moment he did his resolve would instantly weaken and he couldn't risk it. He'd made his decision.

"Okay then, let me just ask you one thing, after everything we've been through, did any of that mean anything to you? Please Teddy, if it meant anything at all to you, you wouldn't do this,"

Ted finally looked up, he had to be strong about this, "I'm sorry Cody."

"You don't mean that?" Cody's voice was a broken whisper, and Ted's heart broke with it.

No, that's not what he meant, but he couldn't go back on himself, on the promise he'd made to himself, not this time, not after all the time he'd spent thinking about this. He knew what they were really talking about here, and it wasn't just about his chosen career. Who was he trying to kid anyway? Even if he did back down now, then what? It could never go any further, he couldn't imagine himself ever being strong enough to let anyone find out about it, no matter how much faux bravado he felt after the throes of ecstasy when he wanted to tell the world.

No, definitely not, let's be honest about this, nobody could ever know, there was no way he could ever risk his dad finding out, his whole family, hell, he could already feel all eyes on him at just the thought and he squirmed uncomfortably on the bed.

He thought about all the little things, how they could never even walk down the street arm in arm, hold hands, and Ted wondered if he'd ever even have the strength to carry on like that, the effort of keeping up appearances would surely be his downfall. He'd only end up hurting Cody later anyway, somewhere further down the line when the pressure got to be too much. He knew Cody wasn't asking for a lifetime commitment but he didn't think he could risk everything for anything less.

So he may as well get it over and done with now, put them both out of their misery.

"You've always got Andrew,"

Cody's eyes opened impossibly wide as Ted continued, "You think I wasn't watching every single little thing you did? He's stronger than I am, he can give you what you need,"

"You're what I need."

Ted was thrown for a moment, he wasn't expecting that kind of honesty, he shook himself, "But think about it Cody, we do this thing, we fuck, whatever, it can never be any more than that. No one can ever know, we'd be living a lie,"

"But we'd have each other," Cody said hopefully, "That's all that matters, no one else needs to know,"

"Yeah but for how long? Soon you'd be wanting to tell someone, or someone would find out, you'd want more Cody, a normal life, and you deserve it. You deserve a man you can take home to meet your parents one day, and that's not me Cody, I can never do that, can you imagine my dad's face? That can never be me."

"But my parents already know you," he smiled ruefully, and Ted laughed.

"I know, but you know what I mean,"

Cody nodded sadly, "I think it's a good cover, no one will ever suspect a thing,"

Ted had never seen him look this way before, the look of a man defeated, trying to find a way out. "Codes, you know it's true, you're the kind of dude who's gonna be comfortable with this, with yourself, you'll be happy in who you are, and I don't wanna be responsible for keeping you from being able to do all that, you're young, you can find someone who'll be able to do all that with you,"

"You're young too! You sound like my dad for fuck sake!" He paused, "You've thought about this a lot haven't you?"

"It's all I've been thinking about for days! At first Cody, I'd renounced everything, I was ready to live a new life, be a new person, I'd seen the light! The _real _light. You made me see it, and it was amazing. And in a way I still feel like that, in a lot of ways, but the more I thought about it, the more I realised I could never have more than a secret fuck here and there, whenever we happen to meet up."

"Well let's just do that then. I can live with that, I can do secret Ted, no one ever has to know,"

Ted laughed again, and Cody smiled at him, "What?"

"No, it wouldn't be fair. When I go to college and stuff, who knows how long it'll be before we see each other each time, so it's easier this way. You can fuck whoever you want. Andrew's a nice guy, I like him."

"I can always drive over there on weekends.. hang on, what?" Cody stared at him, "So what're you saying? Cody, go fuck other guys when I'm not around, and… but I don't get it, do I get to fuck you when you're around or not?"

Ted laughed, "No, what I'm saying is, forget about me,"

"Forget about you?" Cody stared at him in horror, "How exactly do you expect me to do that?"

"I mean, forget about me as in, fucking.. me,"

"No. I don't want to, I, I can't."

"Just live your life."

Cody was silent for the longest time, before he suddenly rose, turning and heading for the bathroom, "Okay, fine. Have it your way. God you're such a god damn jackass sometimes,"

He slammed the door, standing there fuming, quietly muttering to himself.

"_So he even fucking admits he wants me, but is just gonna refuse to do anything about it? I'm gonna make him… he's gonna have no choice but to do something about it_."

He growled as he stripped his clothes off and turned on the shower. As soon as he stepped under the scalding spray he realised he'd stomped in there without his clean clothes, and an idea suddenly flashed into his mind.

Leaving the water running he stepped out, and without getting a towel, he opened the door, walking straight back into Ted's room.

Water dripped everywhere off his glistening torso as he strode through the room, eyes on his bag.

"Forgot my clothes," he huffed, bending to pick them up off the floor, fully aware of Ted's stare as he turned again, pretending to ignore him as he walked back into the bathroom.

Ted stared at the closing the door, mouth agape despite himself, "Cheeky fucking shit,"

His mind reeled at the sight, and he scooted back against the headboard and slipped under the covers, in case Cody came back and saw what he'd awakened in him down below. Ted groaned despite himself, fisting his cock a couple of times as the image of Cody naked and dripping stayed firmly in his mind.

He heard the water shut off and frantically scrabbled to reach for his forgotten bible as Cody came back through the door. This time he was focussed directly on Ted, who stopped still, holding his breath as though caught red handed doing something he shouldn't be.

Their eyes locked on each other as Cody slowly made his way over.

He'd wrapped a towel around his waist this time, but had merely thrown it on in haste before his confidence dwindled, so the rest of his tanned skin was covered in tiny droplets that were practically steaming off him, the sizzling atmosphere that had settled on the room was electrifying. Ted gulped, his cock now straining firmly against his belly under the bedclothes as Cody approached.

He glanced down, taking in the upside down bible in Ted's hand, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards slightly as he plucked it from Ted's fingers.

"You won't be needing this anymore,"

Ted's eyes followed as Cody ripped it in half and flung it over his shoulders into separate corners of the room, Ted's eyebrows raised as he watched, before locking eyes with the still dripping man above him.

"That was a bit dramatic Codes, even for you," His voice came out as a hoarse whisper, and Cody smirked as Ted fought to keep his eyes from roaming all over the hard, wet body in front of him. "So are you gonna tell me what I need instead then Cody? What could possibly replace the good book in my life huh?"

"Me."

Their eyes met again as he said it, emerging more like a guttural moan than a word as Ted dragged him down on top of him, "You know you had me from that very first time you kissed me, don't you?"

His mouth moved in hot sweeping motions along the prominent collar bone, lapping up every drop of water and sucking gently at the sensitive deltoid area, sinking his teeth in where Cody's shoulder met his neck.

"Why didn't you say something? Why didn't you tell me?" he gasped, writhing on top of Ted as his ministrations drove him wild.

"I tried, I wanted to, you wouldn't let me,"

Cody groaned, his hands tightly clutching Ted's head, fingers digging in to take handfuls of his hair as his back arched at the feel of Ted's teeth scraping along his skin, "Fuck,"

"You can say that again," He ran his hands lightly all over every piece of skin he could find, relishing the feel of his back muscles rippling to his touch as squeezed and kneaded, his mouth now doing similar things to the chest in front of him.

"All this time…"

"Yeah…"

"We could've been.."

"Yeah."

"Fuuuck."

"Exactly."

Ted rested their foreheads together, staring into his eyes for a moment before finally claiming Cody's soft lips with his own, gently at first, then frantic with urgent need, his fingers fully embedded now in Cody's hair as he held him close, desperately trying to devour every bit of him, to make up for lost time, not knowing if or when there would even be a next time, wondering what would happen if his dad walked in right now.

"I missed you,"

The words barely made contact with the air as Cody swallowed them down, his own hands running hard up and down Ted's back now, digging his fingers in, feeling the flesh beneath his palms before wrapping his arms forcefully around his neck, clutching the back of his head with one hand, fingers of the other embedded in the soft skin of his shoulder, sure to leave bruises in the wake of his desperation.

"I never meant to hurt you Cody," Ted whispered the words into the shell of his ear as he rolled him over, laying him down on the bed, their legs entwined, their arms still circling each other fiercely as Ted kissed his way down Cody's neck again, making his way slowly towards his eager mouth, claiming him as his own.

"I know," he panted, overwhelmed, out of breath, surprised at Ted's fervour, at his giving in so easily, his tenderness.

"And I'm sorry,"

"Me too,"

"I didn't mean it,"

"It's okay,"

"No, please listen, what I said Cody, I'm so sorry,"

"I know… it's okay,"

"It's not okay, but thankyou, it was unforgivable…"

Cody thought about Andrew's parting words, about the one thing the camp was trying to get them to take away with them.

"Andrew said I should forgive you,"

"Did he?" Ted was honestly surprised by that, and he stroked a finger lightly down Cody's cheek, running his hand across the lean torso, watching Cody shiver to the touch.

"Yeah, he was trying to get me to talk to you all week,"

"Really?" Ted's eyebrows were practically in his hairline now, that being the last thing he expected to hear, "He was trying to make me talk to you too, twice," Ted admitted, feeling guilty that he hadn't been nicer to him now.

"Did he? I didn't know that,"

Ted nodded, "Yeah, he really looked out for you Codes, he really cares, I probably should thank him for looking after you," Ted bent down, kissing him softly and looking deep into his eyes, "He did a good job,"

"Yeah, he did." Cody nodded, faltering for a moment, his eyes downcast for the merest second. He knew what Ted was saying, that he was okay with everything, yet he couldn't stop the pang of sadness that suddenly overwhelmed him.

"It's okay, I understand Codes I really do,"

"You'd have really liked him you know, if you'd given him a chance."

"Yeah, I know." Ted paused, not really wanting to ask his next question but desperate to know, "Are you gonna see him again?"

Cody propped himself up on his elbow, looking at Ted as though he was mad.

"I know you want to baby," he reached up to gently stroke his cheek with his thumb, cupping the back of his neck as he drew him towards him, "And it's okay, I don't mind."

Cody's eyes were boggling at him like he was talking gibberish, "Are you serious?"

"Yeah, I just want you to be happy," Ted kissed him again, Cody still reeling from his words.

"That's what he said to me too,"

"I know. He told me that too… So I know you'll be in good hands, because I know he makes you happy. Maybe you can introduce me to him properly some time…" Ted whispered against his lips as he pulled him down fully on top of him, drawing him in close and wrapping his arms protectively around him as Cody murmured,

"You don't have to do this you know…"

"Shhh,"

"But Ted…"

Ted captured his lips again before he could say another word, "Why don't you teach me, so I know for next time, show me how to do it properly? So I don't hurt you again…"

He drifted off as his eyes roamed over the lean expanse of skin, his hand skimmed down over his chest and across the lithe belly, making its way lower, lingering over the prominent hiplines he suddenly realised he loved so much.

"Fuck me, you're so fucking hot," he growled, letting out a low whistle as he ran his hand up and down each side, before suddenly pouncing, and straddling Cody's hips, ferociously planting kisses up and down his body before taking his rapidly thickening cock in his hand, rubbing slowly up and down, mesmerised at the sight.

Cody's back arched off the bed as his hips bucked to the touch, "Ohmyfuckinggod…"

"Will you, Cody?" Ted's eyes were still following the path of his hand, before turning to kiss a line up his neck again, revelling in the way he writhed in pleasure at his touch, "Please?"

"What? Will I what?" he panted.

"Fuck me," Ted breathed into his ear, his breath seemingly ghosting all over Cody's body if the instant array of goosebumps appearing were anything to go by, as almost trembling, Cody held his breath a moment before suddenly flipping Ted over onto his back, his eyes taking in the sight before him.

"I think we should be able to come to some sort of arrangement," he whispered, looking up at Ted briefly through his lashes, before lowering his eyes again to rake over the fine form below, "Andrew might've taught me a thing or two about it…"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah,"

"Get on with it then," Ted shot him a killer smile, all the encouragement Cody needed, as he decided that maybe bible camp didn't turn out to be so bad after all.

FIN


End file.
